i ain't really interested in blogging about the bangkok trip. i'll leave the bad situations behind and keep the happy memories. if you ask me if i had enjoyed the trip, i would absolutely say yes and wouldn't think twice. becos baby ish around and no matter what happens, he will be there. i guess that's the most comforting part of the trip.

before we set off.







the big van fer all of us. 4 am in the morning.



spot me!





got my chanel compact.





we stayed at baiyoke suite. big, quite an old hotel, the airconditioned was way too noisy, thiefs in the hotel, good location.

day 1 was cheap ramen again and isetan, plus a lil platinum mall and big C at night. we nearly got tricked into some ulu restuarant, reckon that the previous experience was worth it. "we just wanna go chinatown, white orchird hotel, not fer dinner yeah?" or probably just hop on tuktuk.







4.60 per set. no service charge, no 7% GST!

day 2 was temples day + speedboat around the dirty chaopraya river. platinum mall, pratunam market, indra sq, chinatown.



golden buddha.









standing buddha.



day 3 was chatuchak weekend market, JJ mall, MBK.









day 4 was some alone shopping around pratunam market. platinum mall with the rest, suan lum night bazaar.



buys. not alot. but sufficient.



bottoms.



shirt dresses.



dresses.



tops, tunic tops and a dress.



lingerie, sunglasses, belt, necklaces, flats, bags, shawl.



tees.



baby kiki.

not willing to be back. there's stuffs ahead yet emptiness peeps in. i hate this feeling. really hate the darkness. maybe i'll idle fer as long as i could. i wish that i could stay, at least it goes without responsibilities. that he's just beside me.

BAD july.

i dunch lyke things on the rock.

we have to live with it.

i'm having classes alone next sem if i ain't wrong about it. worst of worst, there might be drastic changes which i ain't keen about it. don't even wish it to happen, dunch even want it to.

and i dunch wanna live with it. argh!

why do i feel that i'm drifting away...

BAD july.

i really hope things to go well fer everybody, just EVERYBODY.



i'm really missing my baby.

7 months, another 24th to go.

i love you so.

i'll be missing fer the next couple of days. going fer prep camp, leaving halfway fer my long awaited bangkok trip and with just a day plus of rest, i'm off fer orientation camp again. i'm still not ready fer school yet....... damn, lost of words. alright, there's so much to pack.

my eyelids, they ar twitching yet again. all i hope ish the july to end well fer all of us. we'll be smiling and everything will be just fine.

missing my baby...

i wanted to blog but left blogger here alone last night before attempting to even log in. 3 more long days.

we'll need no explanations.

http://will-o-thewisp.blogspot.com/2007_02_01_archive.html#1949450045228257237

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blue
Just to be the next to be with you

Why be alone
When we can be together, baby?
You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile

did i mention how much i dread going to work these days? or perhaps i've been complaining ever since. so much that baby ish getting sick of me yakking about work. work ish just perhaps too boring, the workplace isn't very enjoyable with no youth to talk to besides a few aunties who ar very lovable, but the rest hrmp... facing the IBM 8 hours a day makes me going bonkers, sometimes i'll giggle at people's foolish acts and talks, sometimes i'll attentively peep into others' gossips. or perhaps i'm just too lazy to work, too lazy to work fer unattractive pay. alright, i guess mummy should be somewhere near PIE now, or maybe the bus ish still going around the neighbourhood in circles.

just look at the rate i've been blogging and all these un-interesting notes.

this weekend was fine. sakae was really bad. so no more sakae in this lifetime. yucks. let's talk about the good stuffs, double chocolate from donut factory was fantabulous, transformers on 070707 was boomerang woom, killzone liberation with baby the whole sunday was the best to sum up the sweet weekend.

i'm awfully missing my baby.

working ish very much boring. maybe i should go on a hiatus. one till camp starts and the bangkok trip. 3 more weeks to endure i must say.

been working, rushing gst... life ish nothing fantastic and someone dearest just robbed away the only anticipation i have every week. i'm not happy at home and i dunch wanna stay home.

Gwen stefani - 4 am in the morning

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

6 non-authorised months. maybe baby has nothing special to say.



all my dedication for you.

loves*

working ish so tad boring. especially cooped in a place fer 8 hours a day. argh... how did they manage to survive fer 10 years with kopi everyday.

i just want my baby. not today nor tomorrow. bleah.

still sleepy. eeeks.

pump room last night. i reckon the place was quite a decent place if you wanna dance with yur friends.

we'll minus off the chill part. bedsupperclub would be so much better.

mum bought humongous strawberries.

mel has a white psp. yipee!

and she was the one who paid fer it. besides the memory card which was sponsered by dear collin.

sooooooo lack of updates.

took back what i said last night*

maybe sleeping does make 1 go blank and that's fer this moment.

just a short update.

1) i had food poisoning the previous night. shiat a hell number of times till the next morning. weak and felt nauseous. drag myself to the clinic and met useless clinic docs. paid 10 cents fer a plastic bag which equates to saving none from the pink dolphins.

2) felt better today and got myself 2 expensive cakies during lunch.

i wanna feel pampered. can i?

i have no clue, and i'm still wondering. i guess there's always unknown secrets lying beneath. everyone has more than 1, right?

i did smt really silly last night. it feels depressing.

幸福真的不容易

在你的背景有我爱你

我就要和你在一起

我不想又再一次和你分离

我多么想每一次的美丽是因为你

幸福它真的不容易

i was listening to melancholic tunes on the way home. walked round the neighbourhood with a dizzy and nearly bursting headache. but i guess i'm fine, i survived the walk alone. just lyke how i survived the 4th burn today. i think my fingers ar going crazy...

we shouldn't have expectations, they cause disappointments, arguements and everything the least that could happen. maybe i'm just not giving enough to expect anything. my bad* but not anymore.

i love my baby (collin) but maybe it's time he says something. and will you? here?

yummy korean food the other day fer lunch.

loving the job munchie.

23rd.
the other day while waiting fer bean to arrive, i was practically walking around alone from 8 to 9. saw this gorgeous (maybe not, they ar just pretty unique) couple rings and necklaces at CENTRAL. gone thru a no. of shops, the shopping urge comes at charles and keith (wants that 1 pair of heels, 1 pair of pretty red polka dot sandals and that balenciaga mimic handbag) and i saw this really sweet necklace at girl's talk. had never ever fancy anything lyke tt, but it caught my attention and i brought baby to have a look after my dinner. i have no intention of buying though cos there's no price stated and hrmp, it's just smt that you'll find lovely but not to the extent of purchasing it. alright, nuff of that. you'll find out why later...

24th
so baby bought me a bouquet of flowers and had it delivered to my OFFICE on our 5th anniversary. was so surprised and blushing infront of all my collegues. didn't expect anything lyke this prolly becos i did not even told him the exact place that i'm working at? so it was surprise SURPRISE and i was working+giggling the whole day. he picked me up later that night and i told him to stop buying me flowers cos it's lyke the 7th time >? so he argued that it's the surprise that feels special and mel said, it's time fer you to buy me something i can keep. "take fer example that necklace we saw just now. it would be an awfully sweet surprise too."

uh uh uh. so the 25th arrives and guess what i recieved?





an angel.





i feel so pampered. loves*

baby's working 8.30 to 9pm every single day including yesterday. so when did he find time fer this? 1 hour lunchtime from jurong east to clarke quay ish so amazing. and that's also how amazing he ish to me too. awwwwwwwwwwwww...

i'll blog some other day. perhaps the weekend. been working nonstop + OT lately. the only thing i wanna do in my free time ish to be with my baby. he's simply everything to me.

baby and i, we belong to each other.

shall talk abt the surprises roses the next time.

it hurts to be ignored. especially when it's someone whom plays high importance in yur heart. all i said was the everything and the truth.

i do not flirt at work, the only 2 guys i talk to ar the sorting document encik and another temp staff whose job i gotta take over.

i'm sucha lonely girl w/o my baby, w/o my gfs.

working ish fine cos there's losta good food around. anything from a plate of char kueh tiao fer 2 bucks to italian and jap cuisine just outside the company. and there's 15 mins of shopping after lunch! club street has this amazing no. of unique shops. i lyke! pardon me, but there's another thing i love about working (besides the money and hours spent with mum). that every now and then, i think about kiki and he acknowledges my thoughts right from 7am in the morning.

ahhhh. renee didn't even make it as a finalist. bleah. and the episode was so short that i only caught her in less than half of the finale. i guess she was already model quality, that's why they push her away. natasha? big lips. eeeks. and the sass and bide dresses ar lovely!!

28 weeks later was indescribably d-e-i-gusting. puke. not saying that the movie sucks, but it's just pure gross. it makes my hair stand, hands grabbing baby's waist tight, screaming non-stop looking at all the viral blood. this movie was so much better than 28 days later. love it minus the grossy tissues and fats. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks. i just couldn't imagine if i were in it, argh, help, i'll kill myself first, ain't interested to be chase by running mad zombies.

on a side note, thanks baby fer bringing me out + supper despite the both of us being tired. love you loads*

alright, short update mates cos' mel ish way too exhausted and she hasn't slept fer more than 24 hours. with 9 hours cropped of admin work. but it's not just admin work, i've gotta learn new insurance terms which seem kinda alien to me fer now. especially when i don't own a car and i dunch get the clue of blames and liabilities. but it's good fer now and the job came at the right time when i'm all done with my antm season 1 to 4 and project catwalk. everything ish yummy now, baby ish taking me to catch 28 weeks later...

crying ish tiring. the best natural sleeping pill.

i think the worst part of me ish to try to escape when i can't control the situation or dislike the tense atmosphere. especially when i've tried and it still seems wrong. it doesn't feel good to be stuck in a situation where you know that whatever you do will not help. and in the end, mel would always be such a turnover and slap* there she goes, showing her freakout attitude in the wrong way.

i've been eating very little fer the past week + today when i'm stuck at home. no rice, an apple a day, lotsa plain water, milo and soups fer dinner, a few bits of fish at times. i dunno what's gotten into me, but i feel fat and bloated ever since nothing seem to look good in my photos. i'm doing regular bits of exercise and it's not that i'm trying not to eat, but there's little that seems delicious at home (especially when mummy doesn't cook most of the days.) i'm just glad that i can't resist good food, local hawker fare, and mac's breakfast. i reckon that if no one brings me out, i might end up starving almost everyday. hrmp... who starts with the apple diet? it's ridiculous.

seafood feast? please, yummy...

if you take things fer granted, dunch lose it, read and weep when it's gone.

You got that extraordinary way
Got to be next to ya every single day
You do something that I just can't explain
Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me



Ooh, I love you so
Just look in my eyes,
they'll tell you where this could go.
I just want you to know

since it's happy MOTHER's day!

both baby and mel's mummy recieved carnations!



and baby decided to make me happy by a surprise rose!



trust me, it definitely looks way better than this.

caught spideyman 3 last night though we've both heard alot of bad ratings and reviews about it. baby lyke the emo+fights, one at a time. i thought there were too many characters and there were so many bits and pieces nonstop which was kinda too short and sweet fer each of the fights, the comical scenes were great though, the rest was kinda SPIDEY. but we both enjoyed the night out. i think*

i'm sorry but i can't be yur hot kitten.

i still love the way he makes me giggle. i know what's he thinking inside and i appreciate the effort. loads*

who joins love websites and seek fer love? do you need it that badly? i'm uberly disgusted.

yesterday night was girls' night out. lovely. we finally found the chance to meet in 4s and chatted our hearts away the whole night.

dinner was at waraku. we waited a long time to get in. perhaps an hour till 9+?




adel might kill me fer this.



so the rest was a lil cam whoring outside the restuarant.















food was good there. i think i enjoyed my meal but not the food? not that it didn't tasted good, the exact opposite. but i was busy talking throughout the whole meal (perhaps just needed acknowlegement fer the changes). i didn't had much time munching my lovely nabeyaki.



steaming hot and yummy...





yan's rindo.





mei's.



adel's ramen.

side dishes.



salmon miso cheese. really yummy but i only tasted once. (cos i was still talking nonstop.)



potato cheese mochi.

after dinner, was some chilling out session and we landed at forbidden city which the girls were put off by the service and pretty much think that it's really forbidden. i tot the music was pretty good though.



the drinks. they all had beer. cos mel mel can't really hold her liqueor well, she resorts to redwine+7up with a tinge of mint and lime.











and it was chit chat by the bay at the exact same location we were 4 years ago. mac breakfast at 5am (with collin in mind).

mummy says nobody will pity ya if you have no money. and guess what? unbelievably, i took the bus home this morning and walk that long road home alone. mel has change, fer someone who hrmp... and she's pretty much not herself. even the hairstyle says so. fer the better? i hope so.

they ar all working and i'm dying at home with the thought of no money. i dunch mind staying at home but who's gonna give me 1k at the end of the month? to think abt it, i'm really starting to admire housewives. and that's housewives not taitai. how can you bear to be stuck at home w/o an constant income?

my skin allergy seems bumping it's way back, i've puked nonstop and the thought of food doesn't make me feel really good. maybe all i need ish just some delicious food.

a nice hotpot at tanglin mall fer lunch or a bowl of nabeyaki udon.

all i had were this small bunch of grapes fer breakfast, lunch, dinner and i'm burping already.

he tells me to throw away the negative thoughts, get better and take care of myself. thanks.

maybe what alex says ish true. i'm a slacker and i'm gonna idle at home fer another school holiday. i'm fairly disappointed with myself not being able to enthusastically find a job. i have plently of reasons.

daddy doesn't want or even allow me to work. he doesn't want to intro me any work or even pass me the potential agency number fer good pay jobs. the jobs i've found ar very very very temp and low pay jobs. i do not want to go thru agencies. nobody has yet pass me any job opportunities.

but there's a number of things money needs to bring me. bangkok trip, savings, one's bday surprise, that workout machine, and to at least eat and shop w/o worrying that the bank ish going empty again every single month.

so now you understand the pressure of staying home? pretty much even stressful than being at work.

maybe i should just go on a secret holiday trip fer 2 months. leave this place fer no worrying people. if you pay me and stay in kampung, i would be more than willing to now.

i wish mummy could prepare me steamboat tomorrow.

fer a second, i suddenly realise, 'why am i with my contact lenses?'.

if i dunch express myself well enough, i guess i shall put them in words, maybe they would sound better and sincere and with lotsa love.*

you're someone i need, fer attention, fer concern, fer protection, fer anything you've brought into my life. and i definitely want to be the same fer you.

if i do have expectations, it wouldn't be because it's a MUST. but it's the minimal that i wish you ar willing to give it to me.

i hate to say this but the horoscopes that i've peep lately ar alil too true. not that i read them before things even happen.

The 1st and 2nd, don't hesitate to spend a little bit of time reviewing some of the problems that come up for you in romantic situations. Do you tend to repress unpleasant feelings like anger or disappointment? Have you noticed that doing so results in problems building and building and generating a certain amount of toxicity before exploding? This month, it's time to look at why you do what you do. Don't focus on doing things better -- yet. The most important thing is to understand yourself, because if you don't understand yourself, you can't make changes effectively.

i hate myself fer certain reasons but i'm not giving up. why do women need this amount of attention. argh. i know i've change alot on my side. but the minimal just doesn't seem to work out fer anybody. i pretty much suck. sometimes it's hard to balance anything. to give you what you want and to be what i am. to not irritate you fer what i am. yet not get irritated by what you ar. and afraid of giving up cos once i do, you'll do the same too.

and that's libra fer you.*

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy, did they, sugarplum? Nope, lovey-dovey, romance is never really simple. There's always something that's complicated -- you, them, the two of you together -- but that's also what keeps it interesting. The 1st and 2nd, don't be discouraged if things aren't totally absolutely easy between you and the object of your affection. Sometimes things just aren't totally absolutely easy, but that doesn't mean that cutie isn't worthy of your affection.

i have 7 drafts by far.

i was missing him, thinking about him, dreaming about him, hearing impossible sounds about him. if everything were just a mirage.

i dreamt of one situation that happen exactly a year ago. miserably just lyke in reality. but things might have change. and i dunch know if it was the better or just a mirage.

perhaps baby does read afterall, he brought me fer my haircut and i brought him fer some dumb dumb movie today. the ratings were just some fat piece of lie. i guess it's scary if you think in context of the tradition. but definitely not a ENTERTAINMENT HORROR movie. there's no special effects, no sound effects, nth but drama-mama and reality.

the next time if i really wanna catch some horror movie, stop me yeah...

i didn't knew baby was with that 5 fingers lyke me.

highlight the previous post and you can see baby in the light.

he doesn't really read anyway.

i kinda start putting my 'locked' entries as draft now.

so the weekend was quite hectic. i shan't say the rest.

got yan her 21st birthday present late sat night. i know i was over the timing but i had a hard time searching fer what i wanted. but i'm pretty sure she's in love with her new DKNY watch and it's definitely not because of that wishlist. (=

steamboat at golden mile with alvin, yao, princess zen, robynne and gim last night. uncle zen kept calling us auntie and the only first thing he says ar sarcastic remarks which were kinda the usual, said w/o going thru his left brain. sometimes i wonder why ish he so different on the phone. anyway, mr bean ice-cream was great too while i had my chair flew off.

baby was sweet enough to pick me up and let's see how this goes yeah.

and fer my lovely girlfriends who've burnt a big hole in my wallet.*

HAPPY 21st toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you! you!

fer meiling, i'm sorry about not been able to give you yur surprise or even attend yur other surprise but i hope you do lyke yur pressie (if you don't, look fer yan. haa.).

and fer yan, i know you looooooooooooooooooooooooooove our present hell lot. cos i do too, so much that i wanna snatch it back from you. haa.

so there goes all yur 21st. i'm waiting fer mine yeah. hopefully everything will still turn out right by then.

missing all my friends... and of cos, the un-return baby who didn't even said bye before he left.

after exam therapy, i lyke! but the wallet seems empty now.

yes, i might have a full load of memos. but i do not look at them, and it irks to even have a glance of it. (in regards of that folder named 'the past'.)

girls dressing up nicely together fer a night out. awwwwwww.


i don't know if it's my com or blogger. my net keeps hanging *** non stop.

dressing up nicely, have someone pick you up and say you look good tonight, going out on a date with nice bouquet of flowers, you smile and curl up, someone keeping you accompanied every single moment, you giggle at the slightest gesture of another's, enjoy a nice ride around on the lovely night, fall in love and kiss goodbye.

i need a new hair cut badly.

i wanna watch that malaysian horror film (Jangan Pandang Belakang) that has been given really good spooky ratings.

i forsee, "you can go with someone else".

i remembered once, i had mango juice and one told me something i found 'absolutely crazy that night' (that night) infront of the singapore river. being piggy backed, thoughts (w/o one's acknowledgement) roamed through till clifford pier, the momument built in the 1930s. people had their foolish times and i guess i fell into one's. what's so strong once, seems to........... just lyke how love grows. things change, people do change, we just gotta learn to accept changes.

last paper last paper tml.

boo boo oooh oooh ah eee blah toot*

(driving bonkers with this damn calm mood)

as much as i love everything about my urban history and architecture, it's just simply another thing when it comes to exams. exams ar evil! the make whatever interesting seem ultimately disastrous and taxing. i really wanna score at least an A- fer this but it seems that i'm far from it.

me no understand tropicalism, modernism and the rest of those boo-hoo architecture terms and can't get the arguement over them. it's lyke these people ar living in it and they names meant hell lot to them but fer an outsider lyke me who just wants to enjoy this module do not get as much enthusiasm as them.

i want daddy to send me to school tml!

i'm not yur blonde babydoll.

if i have not forgotten to s/u my urban, i wouldn't be bothered reading through those yucky articles that makes no sense to me now. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks.
tropical architecture and identity - a derivative discourse?
western civilisation and post-enlightenment rationailty?

what the hell...

if there's only one person who ish able to summarise my articles fer me now. help!