Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul


When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

help me... help me... help me...

gosh, i'm damn the hell not being myself fer this past few days... weak and weak. my temper goes way up high and it keeps hanging up there fer no reason. why? guess i just need myself.

too lazy to blog... to lazy to blog...
too many assignments due and the stupid fever ish driving me crazy at the wrong time.

i caught the eye 2 with darling on thursday. man, the crowd ish huge. why? hate all the squeezing with those young little ones during school holidays. the eye 2? nothing much to comment but the sound effect ish really scary. you may be closing your eyes but the sound will definitely still freak you out. i miss most parts of the show just by being a tiny timid cat.

so glad my sisters ar posted to ngee ann.. finally it's time we can meet. but i'm afraid of time table clashes plus i'm having 27 hrs per week next semester. life ish getting more and more hectic. i guess nobody lykes the feeling of being tied up by schoolwork!!

think i'm getting this new phone... looks perfect fer me. just hope there ar sufficient functions.! why can't all flip-phones with digital camera be as small lyke this? why can't all phones has the functions of sony ericsson?



or this? but it seems a little bulky and definitely doesn't look lyke a phone. i would rather reject their 3G service. functions of this phone ish superb!

Careless mistakes everywhere... This ish really sucky. Makes my mood down............................................

it has been a week and 8 days since i last blog... so long yet nothing to blog about. reason being : lazy and 'super' not in the mood to blog... craze!! anyway my laptop has been with darling fer weeks so i'm unable to blog with my stupid keyboard plug into my com. argh, cut off with all those craps. last week was common test week. totally gonna drop in the sink with my IPC paper. hope i'll still manage to get a A grade. will report my results to all as soon as i get those papers back.

IPC practical - 38.5 over 40 (Muacks!)
IPC - 82.5 (Freaky#)
Maths - 88 (Careless Creeps*)
Mircobiology - 87 (LaLaLa)

Woo hoo...... Today i went out in the late evening to celebrate adel's birthday.

I brought along ah gu and darling... I guess it's not a bad gathering after all, although it's so last minute stuffs. We brought adel to 'Spageddies' (i wonder if my spelling ish wrong) at paragon fer our dinner. The food there ish not bad. moderate shop which you guys can go ahead and try.


Adel munch this into her stomach... Heard it's really nice from her.


Ah Gu prefer something simple... He actually wanted pork chops... But eventually was stopped by us. Cos' we all think it's so silly... Darling even reccomended to bring him to the nearby coffeeshop for one 5 bucks instead of $18.50.


Darling and i shared this enormous seafood pasta... Quite tasty and definitely filling... But a little too sour and too much garlic plus discusting onions...


Ahuh... I got something sweet fer adel!!


2 T-strings from Topshop... Real nice and cute. Just nice fer girls lyke her.

i guess i really can't work well in the morning... or perhaps afternoon. i woke up near 12 noon today. all i wanted was to complete my ipc tutorials. but i spend lyke 5 hours till 4 plus... it's so hell pathetic. it's just 2 tutorials with around 15 questions... argh! i guess i have to blame it on myself. i didn't concentrate well enough, was watching tv and eating all the way... i need more productive work mel! worst still, tomorrow's tutorial has been cancelled... which means i wasted 5 hours slogging over this stupid worksheets.

talking about last night... that yan fell into deep sleep and totally forgotten about me. luckily i had something to do... hope this ish her last time.

*anybody has the software CM?

kkays... i'm waiting fer yan to call since an hour ago... dear yan, what ar you doing? it's 3 am now. my laptop ish finally ready. will be blogging with it now and then. next week ish study week. i'm not doing much studies after all. i'll be only having 2 tests going on. maths and chemistry. basic ones... just hope i don't make foolish mistakes.

i spend my whole day at home. darling went ubin. he did called me along, but you guys should know... i'm never going there. i don't really lyke cycling there although people always tell me it's really relaxing... but nah, i'm not interested and yes, i hate being the one fer letting you people worry. especially when there ar slopes everywhere.

guess i'm gonna be slogging at home tomorrow again. hope i can be patience with my work. haa. study hard mel!

I Promise
by Stacie Orrico

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will

i'm done with the new colour theme... the love in the air ish so high... hee. hope you guys lyke it! (= will blog soon... (that ish once i get my laptop repaired!!)

oh no, oh no...! darling ish too sweet le... it's my first valentine's with him and i'll keep in memory ferever... although there's no sunflowers fer me... but the gifts he gave was too much a surprise...

we went out today of cos'... first we went fer a movie 'along came polly' in ps... great love comedy. makes the mood of love in the air so high... next we walk and shop to wistma fer our dinner at jack's place. and at that moment i started recieving all those gifts one by one... darling wrote a 'me to you' card to me. the contents were perfectly romantic. cos darling has never been this romantic before. i'm definitely touched by his words... love him so much my dear. my next gift was nicely wrapped in a box with slivery ribbons on it. inside it, was a sony digital radio reciever... it looks too cool. darling bought fer me this nice bracelet from perlini's silver. he got me a ring too. it's part of a couple set. lastly, a diamond and white gold pendant from goldheart jewelry!! love it so much. it's heart shaped and can't believe darling really bought it. just becos i said i lyke it once before. i can't even remember myself pointing to that and telling him that's nice! and it's the first time recieving diamond from someone... not saying the guy i spend my life with everyday. my lovely darling ish so sweet. his charm and love fer me never ends.... muacks. thanks alot darling!

i guess i took almost ages to blog this... but you can't blame me. i'm getting really lazy and slacking all th way. thanks to those holidays and open house... it just allows me to stop stretching my back anymore. mel ish really piglet after all. but i used to weigh 49 kg and now? 46 le!!! argh... why am i losing weight? i didn't did it on purpose. i swear! just few days of exercising and i'm left just bones. haa... so crappy, i'm gonna stop here. this stupid keyboard ish getting me crazy. i hate typing these days!

long time... i didn't blog... my mind still in blank... still stuck in the mood with school's shedule... will blog if there's something to tell...

darling ish not back from malaysia and worst of all... he can't be found. i've been lyke looking fer him since afternoon. where ish my precious?

yesterday, i turned up in school fer one stupid lesson. cos nobody was informed about the cancelation of the other tutorial. gosh, i woke up so early just fer this. felt so silly. nonetheless, i managed to find something else to do. 'a visit to darling's lecture'. 74 was really draggy. i waited fer almost half an hour. but luckily i met shunfoong. finally!! it's been so long since i last met him. miss him lots. had a nice chat with him. too bad he's not going the same route as i. he said many pleasant stuffs to me and i appreciate it alot. just hope he isn't lying. haa! (= right? foong?

hmmm, blah blah blah. and i landed in darling's lecture hall. hmmm, their lecture hall ish really nice. compared to the one in np. but i don't really lyke the atmosphere there. i guess it's too formal fer me. after the nonsense in sp, darling and i had macdonals. nothing much to eat there but we had a full meal. i went home to sleep right after seperating with darling.

then... it's reunion dinner's time. with dad around, everything ish so un-reasonable. he keeps complaining and shouting. i know he ish intentionally refering to me. but i don't care. (have been so sad about his attitude these days. hate it when he said darling ish a idle. gosh, what does he expect darling to do when darling sees him in work. he said darling gave no respect to him. so does it means, darling should call him 'uncle' during work?) forget about everything. i still had a nice time talking to grandma and grandpa. dinner with abalone... hee, love it. actually it doesn't taste really nice. but just the thoughts of it makes my mouth watering...

after dad and grandparents left. darling came over to 'bai nian'. mum was happy to see him here. we also had a great time playing with my brother. we played childish games lyke heart attack and sparkles. after the gathering at my house, we went fer a walk downstairs. we bought alcoholic drinks at 7 eleven... hmmm, i didn't drank much. darling drank most of it and he was nearly drunk. actually he ish lyke playing around with me. but i don't lyke it. cos it's so not darling anymore. haa, he ended up really kinda drunk. i sent him off the bus... couldn't bare to let him off. hee. but he ish now in malaysia celebrating in his grandmother house. think he ish enjoying himself. i can't wait to hear his voice soon. can't wait to see him smiling at me. can't wait to give me a big hug. can't wait to tell him i'm missing him...

enough of all mushy stuffs... think it's time fer me to sleep. tomorrow, i shall be taking ang baos!! hope it won't be boring... happy new year to everybody!!

gosh, this stupid keyboard ish giving me a hell of problems... my 'M' & 'E' ish lyke so stuck. i can't really type them out. i have to lyke use violence. but worst, they ar not the only ones... think it's time i get this keyboard thrown. school ish fine. maybe it's much easier compared to last semester but definitely more boring. i had sport and wellness today. it's quite fun but tiring. with all that running... i love the part to catch. yeah, balls. i chose softball fer my S&W. oral com ish scary. 5 mins to think of what to speak and you're up next! your heart goes tumbling and yur mind goes into blank. it's lyke you can't really focus well and whatever comes into yur mind ar just spat out. so please have a great general knowledge and vocab.

the doctor gave me a huge shock today. luckily it's all not happening. i've been having tummy aches on and off since saturday. last night, i couldn't put myself to sleep at all and i rest at only 4am in the morning. my eyes went blood shot right when i woke up at 6 plus in the morning. can't imagine myself falling asleep in lectures. although i managed to survive fer that 5 hours of lectures, but i'm pretty sure i'm caught eyes-shut. oh, about the doctor. he examined me and later suggested fer a urinal test. he said he wanted to check my kidney. he said that there might be chances of stones or infection. i was lyke, ah.... i'm dead. further test prove that it's just food poisoning...

wanna say thanks to yahui, bean and darling... made my day seem a belated brithday celebration. seems lyke i can't do rebonding or spa perm fer this moment of time, all thanks to my stupid bleached hair. but it doesn't matter cos bean got me that geometrics 8 in 1 multi-styler. finally it's here. i actually went westmall this evening to get it myself but i met bean. called him to accompany me in but i didn't expect him to pay fer me too. so 'bu hao yi shi'! first ish yahui then him. yahui, my poly classmate paid fer my movie tickets. caught mona lisa smile today. kinda filled with all those women determination and the changes from traditional rules to modern 'free' lifestyle fer them. by the way, i've got a slight trim on my hair today. i definitely feel lighter... lesser burden too. haa.

i'm playing with dad's new e700 now... think perhaps i'm not getting it anymore. cos the functions ar not those i really fancy. in fact, after using darling's s200 fer 2 days, i find that phone much easier and interesting to use. despite the lack of camera functions. maybe i should think of another handphone to get fer myself... phone designs suxs nowadays. how i wish it could be better if i could choose my own design, my designated functions and everything ish so customized! that would be wonderful...

wah... the day of schooling has began and soon i'll lose all that glow i had during holidays. my time table ish a little distorted but i don't care. things will never be the way you actually wanted. just hope fer a quick semester ahead. first day of school and i have a huge time slot of lectures. busy, busy, busy... many holidays ar coming soon but there must be make-up lessons fer them... i would rather skip the holidays cos' make-up lessons ar hard to generate, all thanks to those messy IS modules. making my classmates and i limble here and there... nonetheless, i'll just hope fer more beauty sleep... haa!

i'm feeling real bad now. i wanna cry but i can't. why? i'm so force to a corner and my feelings ar all kept within.. dad ish at home now and i can't do anything. going out ish a crime, staying home ish a torture. nobody understands this confusion going on in my heart and most importantly he don't. why? why after all the things he have said, he does nothing. at least nothing to prove his heart. sometimes i just wanna tell him that there's no use of reprimanding himself when he knows something ish wrong. i hope he ish able to learn ways to change to situation. i always love to ask myself. am i asking too much? do i complete my own part? maybe love ish selfish. especially when a couple starts quarrelling. all those stupid blabbering noises began. you never know how words can hurt until this time. it cuts deep into yur heart and it bleeds. breathing ish such a difficulty. reading a love novel ish as easy but handling one ish never...

i hate holidays man! all thanks to dad. i'm not allowed to work. i'm questioned if i spend my own allowance. i'm lyke so totally grounded everytime he ish back home. with that stupid door opened fer him, i hear him asking about this and that. so demanding, forever lyke this. got a darker colour fer my hair and yet he starts blabbering about it again and again. why can't i keep my hair long? crazy! would someone's dad go round and round bothering about their daughter own hairstyle? it's my own problem... he keeps asking me to do something to my hair. "cut it cut it!" that's what he'll say. sick and tired of it. i hear this everytime... i want my hair long or short, straightened or curly... that's my business. if only... i dare. i give him a bald! it's not lyke i go around him and critising his hairstyle too. craze....

kkays... i'm planning to get myself the samsung e700 but i still need to wait fer the price to drop. dad doesn't want to spend such money now. hmmm, my wishlist ish finally going to clear off all so soon. hee. and thanks my sistas and my perfect darling, they gave me a sunny birthday. love them lots... darling got me a swatch watch and yan+adel got me a 4 in 1 hair styling set.

i guess i'm gonna spend the following few days left to sleep as much as i can. don't call me a pig. i just don't wanna regret when school reopens. the kinda of sleepy moments in lecture. gosh, i hate it.

i guess i'm getting real fickle minded... i saw panasonic x70 today. looks great to me too.



which one shld i buy? any suggestions?

went out exercising with darling just now... we cycle and ran around our neighbourhood. played soccer, basketball and childhood games with my brother too... was having real fun stretching out our muscles. early this morning i'm lyke so stuck with the computer. all thanks to my brother. he kept perstering me to play this 'prince of qin' game fer him. i started out 11 and only stop at 7pm. gosh... my eyes hurts lots. can't imagine how guys can get so engrossed with games.

oh yeah... and regarding computer games. i saw this true file story on television today. most teenages murder due to long term effect from computer games. meaning they usually gets too hooked up and by then can't differeniate reailty... hence, they starting looking fer predators, murder them fer the sake of fun. this ish real scary and crazy man...

i'm gonna get myself Samsung e700a... birthday coming soon but ain't really excited about it. anybody wanna give some ang bao money fer my new phone? geesh... (=

gosh... i'm feeling real vexed now. all that anger in me, i just can't seem to control it! my head ish lyke spinning real fast. there's many things i hate about myself and i throughly can't give myself more confidence. perhaps i'm too isolated... argh, but i don't bother. there's so many bad thoughts flying inside my mind. don't come near me or i'll be one mean baddie. hope this craze of mine ends soon. just another day of stupid mood swing. sometimes i just hope that people around could understand me... less questions and more answers please!

Today ish darling's birthday... Me got him his favourite skin chrono Swatch watch. Finlly my wishlist ish clearing to more than half.

Sometimes i'm just too lazy to blog... Let time determine whether i shld blog about my trip to Thailand... Got many many stuffs. I'm a little tire out and don't have the strength to just keep typing anymore. Feeling totally in the blues, just hope everything will be fine soon.

hey peeps... me going thailand until this saturday night. i won't be updating my blog during these 4 days. do miss me kkays? haa. (=

Lee Huay Er Melissa was a Polite Postal Worker in a past life. Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Melissa Lee Huay Er was a Pleasant Postal Worker in a past life. Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Today ish our 6 months of treasure... I got darling this shirt which i thought was real nice as a present.

We went Far East Plaza first... Darling planning to get a track sweater there and it's really cool. A super look alike from Adidas. And yups, we gonna share the jacket! Then, we took neo-prints again. Forever the same... Here ar some of my favourites.



I really lyke this one... Real Style! Lyke some kind of models!! Oops. Hee... (=

Then we went wistma... I match a real smart and style suit fer darling at Topman. Darling turns out beyond what i expected. If only he ish taller and he will look real neat and attractive in those clothes. Shop, shop, shop and we ended up in Takashimaya. Darling bought me the 'Me To You' that i fancy as a present. Was so delighted about it and we decided to name it 'Ang Bei Bei'!! Haa.

Walk, walk, walk and we reach Plaza Singpura. Glaze around until it was finally night time. I mean dinner time! We went to the glass house fer Fish and Co. Finally we got the chance! I mean we have lyke plan this long time ago... So tata, we ordered Seafood Platter Fer Two And A Jungle Freeze. Everything seems to be in so large quantity!!
Oh ya... After dinner, darling got me fresh flowers. How sweet of him! It's the first time i recieve flowers from him. What a day filled of wonderful surprises!!

That's all fer the day... And two last pictures fer the special day!!

The rest could be found here... My New Photo Folder 3

Love Me Tonight!

Yeah! It's our 6 months together le... We've lyke gone through half a year of everything... Love him lots... And i know he love me lots too... Hee... Darling!




From Me To You, Specially... I Had Always Tried To Give Ya All The Romance I Could In Words... But Now I Know... Nothing Means More Than Actions And The Eye To Eye Signal... Telling You That I'm Gonna Be The One... That Special One You Need... Love Ya Lots, My Darling...

Went out with mum and brother today... Brother had his eye checkup in the noon an i went fer my treatment and trimming of hair after that. We went Plaza Singapura right after that. I caught Matrix Revolution again... Hee. It's really nice. Can't stand it. Gosh, brother was so excited fer the whole duration. The best part was the attack of machines... We went shopping after that... I didn't got anything fer myself just got something fer darling... Hope he ish gonna lyke it... Hee.

My Matrix name is:

Venus

Wanna Find Out Yur Matrix Name?

My matrix name ish cool man... Haa. Sounds real suitable fer me in the matrix.

Argh... I'm lyke so dead at home... Can't stand the days man. Too free. Time seems to stay unlimited. But isn't this what i want? Gosh, poor darling has his attachment since monday. He ish treated lyke a super coolie and he only earns 420 a month. Anyway, i've caught matrix revolution yesterday. It's really a fantastic ending... Love it. Now that i realised matrix reloaded ish just something useless stuck in between. Shall rate it 4 popcorns... You people should go get the movie tickets now. Totally recommended.

`How long do i need to sigh?

I added another album...

My New Photo Folder 2

Here's the first one...

My New Photo Folder

Both can be found at my Xtra* links... Peek-A-Boo 1 And 2...

Yesterday i was feeling super sad and tense up. I don't really know why. Perhaps it's PMS... I had this crazy nightmare in the morning which lead me to tears. I dreamt of my brother falling down from a high-rise building all thanks to me... Was so frightened at the point of time. Man, how real it was. Woke up damn early. My whole afternoon was filled with nonsense and had a little tiff with darling. But i'm glad it's all over.

I met Darling's mum fer the first time. Was really afraid that his mum wouldn't lyke me. But luckily his mum was very friendly an she keeps making fun of darling. Haa. Went dinner with them at this club near IMM. Saw his relatives. First time in my life i was so nervous. My mind was so blank. I just kept talking to darling all the time. But i'm happy fer that night at least...

Went out with darling today as i told... Our first destination was Sushi Tei. I guess we ate quite a sum. I've got my salmon sashimi at last!! While enjoying it, darling ask me whether do i still remember his existence. He said that i seem to be in my own world of salmon... Haa. Can't stand him... We shared a chef recommended 'Charsu Ramen', steam egg and mixed vegetable tempura... After the feast, we went heeren fer pics! Here there ar...

Photos Taken Away Due To Angelfire Again...
Check Them Out Here!!
My New Photo Folder

Oh ya... I also saw this nice swatch watch i fancy alot... Gonna get it by this year... And the chirstmas version of 'Me To You' bear ish really adorable... Love it lots, especially the one with the white coat on.!!

After all this, we went to plaza singapura... Darling played his virtual tennis and then we went searching fer food again... However, i was only interested in chinatown porridge... So we decided to head there. On our way out of plaza singapura, there ish this concert of loud band there. And we saw this crazy girl... Keep shaking and shaking lyke nobody's business. Oh my god, i was laughing lyke hell... It was really funny. I even took out my digital cam and film her down.

Chinatown and then home!!! Overall a lovely day but due to some pms, i feel a little tense out...

Hmmm, i'm finally going out later fer my celebration!! Haa... Meet darling and we ar planning to have a feast! Will update about details later...

Wow wow wow!!! I can't help but to tell myself that all my exams ar finally over? Just came back from english o's... Hmmm, all i have in mind now ish that i might not be able to score well afterall... All i hope ish just a pass and that shall do the job... Why? Basically becos' i haven't been practising much and writting ish a total different thing... My english seems to rust fer decades and when i get panick, things goes chaos easily...

But nonetheless, it's all over... I'm going to get my salmon sashmi and my chinatown porridge delight soon... Yummy! I'm really really in need of these now... Can't stop thinking about them... Fer all my friends who ar still mugging fer their exams now.... I give you all lucks. The most important element ish to actually be confident with yurself... Confidence stands out alot! Really! Don't be too worried if you haven't got an chapter or two near perfection, just strive yur best and i'm waiting to celebrate with you...

Hmmm, will holidays be fun? Or just gonna be gloomy months to pass?

wow, somehow i just have this fresh feeling that exams ish over!! but nah, it's not... haa. okay, this ish my shedule...

31st Oct - Physiology
01st Nov - Cell Biology
03rd Nov - Organic And Biological Chemistry

it may seem to some people that this ish just simply little... but there's much more to cover in each of them... haa... sheesh, i can't believe i'm crapping here...

guess it has been some time since i last blog... (hmmm, don't i say this too often?) anyway, not to bother... it might take a longer time fer me to blog the next time. at least, wait till my exams ar over... yups, i'm pretty excited and can't wait fer them to passby... reason being? shucks, i don't know... haa. oh ya, i'm heading to bangkok at the end of november... if you guys wanna some christmas gift let me know... i'll try to get you yours (ahuh, but before i were to pass it to you... please remember that my birthday ish coming soon) haa... bish* guess i'm really thick skin... haa, but who cares! i've been waiting fer so long. a whole year round and round... i know everybody has to wait a year lyke me... but the feeling ish so different when everybody has turned 17 and you still have 2 more months to wait!! lalala... remember, at least give me a birthday wish... haa. (=

geesh... gotta go now... need to boost up my brother's brain... thanks fer all visiting this site eventhough my blog has been lagging lots... muacks to you all!

Went out with darling today... It's our 5th month together le... So tired to talk about today now... Need to start mugging fer my physio test tomorrow... Gonna just post pictures taken this afternoon...

(Photos Taken Away)

Love this one more...

Hmmm, it seems so bright today... Wow... Look jap?

Wow wow... It as been a week of words... Get ready fer some pics. I guess pictures makes my blog seem more interesting.. Isn't it true? Hee... Went out with darling today to town... I've got my TUNA tee... It's cute man! The lovely imitation of PUMA... Here it ish!!

(Photos Taken Away)

Yups, after shopping around in far east... We took some neoprints at this fantastic new machine there! It's kinda cool and we look really 'real' in it!

Yups yups... And today ish just another normal day..

Programming ish a real freaky terror!!
Join Friendster today!! (www.friendster.com)

i'm lack of oxygen... who cut of my supply?

where ar you, darling?

Gosh, i'm so stressed up now... I'm not enjoying life lyke some of you do. Some of you might say you have more activities than i do but i can just say they ar unecessary so don't compare or grumble... I'm just trying to catch enough sleep whenever i can. I'm awaiting fer the holidays to come and rest well in peace. *RIP* Hrmp... Sounds so seriously dead. But i just wanna close my eyes and sleep forever...

I'm A Useless Bitch...

I'm A Bitch, I'm A Lover - by Meredith Brooks

I hate the world today, your so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you, but you look at me like
Maybe I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet, yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused, I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way
Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season is already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When your hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Somewhere Out There

written by James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true


A Song I Love During Childhood. A Fantastic Cartoon In The Past...

Listen to the song... It's really nice... Especially near chorus...
Makes me wanna cry...

it's been lyke quite sometime since i last blog. i've really nothing much to say. just really stress out now. i'm feeling kinda empty here in this lonely night. i'm all alone. sob... tomorrow i've gotta lyke be stuck at home to complete my test revision and tutorials. i've got lyke ITA and ITP project dued in 2 weeks time. Chemistry test happening next tuesday, Cell Biology Test, Physiology and ITP coming 2 weeks in time. practical exams coming in 2 weeks time too... soon, it'll be exam week.... argh... and English O's again... so ish it actually time i should bard away from all stuffs and concentrate on them?

boring boring... alot of test and assignments coming up. in school now, still pondering whether i should wait fer darling... stress le...

Dad now going crazy. Once again, this happens.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

argh... don't bother me fer the moment. leave me alone. these ar some words i'll shout out to those ppl who i don't give a damn about. why start telling me yur tales and shit when you won't ever listen to mine. i'm nt a wonder-woman here. i can't be always there to solve you ppl fcuking problems. finally, all my anger released. gosh, what was i mad about. i myself not being clear here too. kkays. erase that. sorry fer not blogging this few days. i had this very bad mood on monday night and i wasn't really able to express it down in words.

dad dad dad, i also wanna let ya noe. i'm nt a wonder-woman/child. i'm gonna be 17 soon and can't you just stop killing me with yur attitude. why can't you just listen to me fer that moment. why can't you listen? it doesn't mean you ar old and you know everything. i hate my life living up to yur standards. those ar yur dreams not mine. i wanna live my life, grow up the way i wanna. i've listened you yur every words as hard as i could. i myself didn't wanted to fail my english. you always make me sound that i did it on purpose. and money-wise. can't you just stop telling me yur own fairy-tales abt how hard you've got to live in yur oldies world. one day allowance only having 20 cents. face reality my dear, now ish 2003. it's not 1965. those ar the past. i don't wish to blame ya fer anything. i just wanna ya to listen to me and understand me.

lastly, i'm beginning to feel weird about a particular subject. anyway, i might be too sensitive. argh... i won't bother. i won't.

`i don't lyke yur ignorance. i hate lies. beware be4 you speak one.


w/o tears Melissa posted at 12:04 AM
Shed A Tear, Crystalise Me.

Taken from date as mention above. All thanks to dad...

Early morning and yet i'm stuck in school. I should be in bed!!! Contact lenses ain't working well. I see nothing from the projector... And this crazy programming teacher ish teaching loop loop loop.... He keeps shouting 'you can make this inner loop, or a inner inner loop or a inner inner inner loop'! This ish real boring cos i understand nuts!!!

Yesterday was scolded by dad terribly! Cos' i accidentally called him 'Uncle'. It was lyke a subside effect. Darling was sitting in the living room while i wanted to get some ice-cream. The bell rang and i opened the door. I did call 'Daddy' but after i turn and look at Darling. Unknownly i lead off uncle.! Dad was lyke super angry with me after all his work stress, he gave me hell infront of darling. Poor me, i did nothing wrong. Oh my, when i told mum about it, she was laughing lyke never before.

yesterday i had my terrible mood swing thus leading to a crazy suitation.... don't wish to talk and explain about it. but it was definitely the first time i felt terror from him. my whole body was trembling with fear and chill all over my spine...

i've just finish my access revision. gosh, i guess i really miss alot in class. with all that playing of mario. i guess i've to thank god that i'm at least not a computer idiot. slept the whole day until 2 plus. played mario again and again. super focus and non-stop. haa... wonder why i always love to work only in the night. i guess that's me. poor mind. can't even rest at a proper time. perhaps my brain only works at the fastest rate in the dark. haa... morning and afternoon or should i say sunlight? usually causes this slow and lazy mode. haa...

i'm definitely lazy to blog. why? maybe nothing much ish happening i guess...

it was raining heavily non-stop on thursday... it gave this super comfty feeling with my jacket on and my mind trying to signal that i should skip lessons. and i really did... left class early after test, then went to look fer darling in his school. was going to accompany his friend to a salon at boon lay. yeah, and that day was filled with nonsense... i fell in the bus. kinda clumsy right? i fell with full force on my bum and my legs straighten out in this small area between the seats. i was lyke wearing skirt at that time too... must be someone cursing the hell out of me. don't ask me why i fell, ask darling. he knows it well enough. out of struggling, i fell. being super embarrass at that point of time and i flew right off the next stop.

it's been years since i last fell infront of the crowd. oh my god, can't imagine i'm the one looking at this couple doing chaos in the bus and then fer great sake, the girl fell. i would have gave it a real laugh. after the whole dramatic act, i definitely wasn't feel alright. i just storm my way home leaving darling all the way at the back. just couldn't care much at that point of time. things drag and *skip* *skip* 3 hours later, i reach home safely. went home and realise my laptop nearly went crazy again. arse, i really don't trust it anymore. how i wish everything starts going manual cos computers ar so hard to understand.

(friday) today i woke up as usual timing. met darling at the bus stop. when reaching the bus stop, we realise it was lyke far too late. so we decided to skip classes and went towards macdonalds... the atmosphere was stone cold. yeah, and i discourage you people to get mcwings. such an stupid idea. you could actually just get downstairs to yur coffee shop and get wings fer only 2 bucks which ish much more worthy in terms of cost. maybe i'm bias cos' they took off my only favourite mc'chicken spicy. but mcwings? really no quality. i want my mc'chicken spicy. the only way i could grow fat. argh... poor friday... weekends ish coming and i'm heavily dued with many assignments.

guys guys guys or anyone who bets. please don't waste money lyke you have this multi purpose printing currency machine at home. i'm discouraging it definitely. at least bet if you have the extra money to do so. although it might be a interest but poor people all started out lyke this. everyone wanting to grow rich. you'll be one if you earn yur way thru. the best ish to know yur own limits.

hmmm, today went out with sister adel... quite boring but kinda anticipating. we were accompanied with darling and two of his friend... 1 of a shy case and another of the opposite case... catch this stupid and discusting movie called 28 days later... although it was kinda scary but it was really lame... i guess i'll just give it a pass... after the movie, we went to scotts fer meal. had tom yam soup... i was really spicy but someone made me laugh and i nearly choke... haa... and my throat was fuming hot... after then, i stop eating... adel worst still, her fish soup had this buggy in it... she stop eating too... the next stop, far east. me and adel as usual took neoprints!



not bad right? i was really naughty and playful today. during chem tutorial i locked my teacher out of the classroom. haa, it was really cute to see him stand at the window looking at the innocent faces of us...

been real tired... yawn... now in programming classes. wanted to skip to catch more sleep actually but you know... i'll be gone case if i did miss it...

temporary skin fer the mood...

melissa in the eyes of happiness? melissa in the eyes of love and blossoms? i guess no one will ever see melissa in gloomy darkness of sad and sanity... melissa reaching the verge... just within this year, statistics show. melissa has flown thousands and millions of tears even more as compared to her first 15 years of life. why? nobody knows, nobody cares. she in doubt of herself too...

extracted from here

Personal life? Still ain't that great. Nearly broke down yesterday. I idle from 2am all the way to 4am. I sat at a corner of my room. Had my orange lamp light on and started mumbling to myself. Kept thinking and thinking. Couldn't fall asleep at all. Everything seems to be troubling me. And soon i'll be crazy. Crazy! I'm ass miserable. But what can i say or do? I don't have the courage to end my life too. And i know i shouldn't. It's unfair. Unfair to those who care for me. Am i crapping too much? But who cares. It's my website. I can't figure out what's bothering me. I guess it's all the pressure i have from my DAD and MYSELF. And i think i would do unexpected stuffs in such suitation. It's scary. Really terrifying. Now even dreams haunt me. I'm thinking too much. Thinking far too much. Control is the vital element.

PEACE AND HARMONY!!

another 1...

extracted from here

Now, i can tell. I'm not feeling alright again. Once again. This always happen when i'm alone. I'm kinda out of words. Okay i can say it's because of broken stuffs. Why am i not schooling now? How on earth did i failed my english and end up like this now? Is this called fate that people always munch in their piece of mouth? Is this what my path has push me into? Am i out of silence? Why can't i just can't get satisfied? Why can't i manage this? Why Why Why? Why am i alone? Because i'm fcuking lonely and pathetic. Because my life sucks and so do others. Because i'm a damn foolish girl thinking of too many things. Miserable. Ass. Suddenly i can't say more. Let my mind rest. Give me some peace. Give me the love and concern i need and want.

Love. What is this shit? This crap? Don't just peep into my personal life and say i think too much. What the f crap that nobody could just shut my mouth and talk over me? I'm looking for the one who is able to do that. I've found them. But all are gone. Living in their own world.

My head so heavy now. I can't stop. It's getting dizzy. My day filled with nothing. Boring life. I want you. She needs you. He loves her. He hates her. He wants me. I want him. She hates me. Everybody wanting to posses every part of that someone.

I'm screaming. Screaming around. I'm dreaming. Dreaming around.

you would probably think by now. this girl ish just having the hell out of trouble passing over her mood swings... but too bad, nobody could actually handle her crazy nonsense. and melissa? she'll just keep crying everyday...

and probably gets back to senses the next morning...

feeling so disgusted of a message i saw... eeekss... it's lyke, super fake...

my messages in my handphone ar all gone. thanks to the cursed... argh, my memories... all vanished...!!!

super lazy... super headache... super bloated... super giddy... super boring...

this ish what i'm feeling now...

went out with darling today finally. it has been a long time since we went somewhere beside our neighbourhood. our purpose out today was to celebrate our belated 4 months. darling bought me a pair of adidas superstar! so happy. wanna thank him lots...





oh ya, we caught 'turn left, turn right' argh... shouldn't have caught it. should hab chose 'priates of the carribean'. it was more lyke a comedy than a romantic movie. all i anticipated was tears and sorrow, sweetness and love from the movie but it ended up so dramatic... rate it just passed...

after the movie, we went to back heeren to shop. got myself a nail art toolkit fer 20 bucks. darling paid half of it, i paid the other... played with it on darling's hand. but within my own creation...



Looks lyke a female finger right?

anyway, i'm really totally sick of snails now... they ar totally slimy and gluely... argh... my hair just stands up...

This ish definitely interesting...

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt
tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can
be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Found this real suitable fer the mood...

I love you like

I love you like the sunset,
calm along the sandy beach
I love you like the river,
running swift beyond my reach
I love you like the rainbow,
colours dancing across the sky
I love you like the freedom
of the birds that soar on high

I love you like the summer breeze
blowing gently through my hair
I love you like the showers of spring-
welcome beyond compare
I love you like the autumn leaves
of orange, red and yellow
I love you like the open fire of winter,
warm and mellow

And honey
My love for you is pure
boundless through space and time,
it grows stronger everyday
with the knowledge that you'll always be mine.

Soon it's gonna reach 12am and it's the 16th!! It's then the 4th month of darling and me. Although it may seem still a long way fer some of you all. But we seem to have known each other a light years ago. The feeling attached ish clear and refreshing... Although at times our skies goes real cloudy but we didn't chose gave up. We held each other up strongly and firmly.

Darling and i met on the 5th of April. I was working and of cos' he too. Lightning didn't struck fer the 1st time. But i admit i was a little more attracted to him fer i was single at the moment. He? Didn't pay a hell out attention on me at all. He and his friends decided to have some fun with me by asking fer my number. And tata, i ended up going out with his friends. And only at one certain occasion he booms out and keeps disturbing me... The usual comings came. Talking on the phone till late nights, enjoying soccer matches together and lastly of cos' enjoying our company out individually. I guess he was just attracted by the comfty feeling with me. Hee... Am i right, darling? Yeah, and it ish of so much coincidence that my primary school best mate 'Xiaowen' ish actually one of his close girl pal...

Anyway, i just wanna shout out that



HAPPY 4 MONTHS OF YOU AND ME, DARLING!
May our love bring us far...

See how much you really worth at FaceTheJury.com

You are worth exactly: $1,646,638.00.

We hope you can find somebody who is wealthy enough to afford you.

i'm worth lyke this much? haa. go try out and see yurs... post results here in comments taggy...

don't wanna be so 'rou ma' but i miss my darling lots...

peacefully i slept the whole day. not knowing how tired i was. i just kept my eyes close. kept myself from dreaming and dreaming non-stop. what kinda of life... i envy myself...

fer the past two days, i've been kinda free. my department ish having their own bazaa at the atrium and my friends had a stall there. it was pretty fantastic. they had customised pens with yur own design and henna making plus ringing tones/graphics fer sale. i myself invested 14 bucks on them. on thursday, brought darling there to do henna too. here ar some samples of what i did to my hand and my leg...



Talk to my hand!!





Love fer me and you!! On my leg...

if only i dare to tatoo, i'll make one small version of the 'Ai' on my leg. but i don't. haa. i skipped my physio lecture today and went to help out at the stall. i guess with a little more time and effort spent with people, relations do get better. beginning to feel very comfty with my classmates. everyone ish such a blessing except fer some weirdos (pervertic nature and attitude wise).

by the way, anybody wanna donate me fishes? my poor fighting fish died yesterday. RIP 11-09-03 i've lyke manage to keep i fer more than a year. sob... maybe the food i got fer him wasn't really suitable fer him. he never seem to lyke it. he died with an bloated stomach...

Went out with foong today. He actually drag me out. Was so exhuasted the whole day. Whenever i meet foong, nothing good will happen. Cos' he love to put me in an anti-climax situation and love to laugh at my foolishness. Ain't it true? But i'm pretty used to it. Foong also love to put on lots of comment on me. Lyke saying i've no fashion sense cos i wore an adidas shoe. What kinda of crap right? I admit the shoe ish quite old and cranky but it's still perfect fer me. Blah... There's another part where he said he could see my fats drooping out. I said huh? Really? And he just went to poke it and he said 'Haha... No no, it's bone!' Went to cineleisure after school. Caught Legally Blonde 2. Cute and pinky~ Love her laptop. So pink man... But the show was just a pretty cut-off from legally blonde 1. Nothing special and new. Just the same version but in another story line. Shall rate it 3/5 stars.

I've lyke plan enough fer outcoming events. Gonna get a samsung flip-phone during december. And a roxy lanyard. Saw it at heeren's flash and splash today. Really beautiful shade of sky blue and also available in lovely green.

I wanna catch 'Turn Left, Turn Right' !!

Hrmp... Nothing much to blog huh. I'm not busy at all. Infact, too free. Cos' darling ish now trying hard to bury his mind off those theories and formulas. Gonna be real free this week. I guess i'll just hop on to all my assignments (projects) before it gets too late. Anyway, i was caught in this surprise of my programming marks. Didn't knew i could do that well. Ahuh, not trying to boast. But i scored full marks fer my program coding. And this ish lyke wow... I didn't imagine i could do that much. It's probably one moment of luck. Hope my other subjects score well too... I mean who doesn't want their results to venture high?

Yeah, now on the verge of saving more money plus cutting down on my weight. I've manage to cut off 2kg last month. That's something wonderful. Now 48. Waiting fer dad to give me back my money and some extra expenses in months to come. Gonna get Lee's jeans and his swatch watch...

This blog ish getting so quiet. Hrmp... Anyway, common test ar all over. And holidays ar too! Gosh, gotta just pull myself back into the right track. My mind has been quite vivid recently. Went back to school with a brain freeze mind! Wasn't sure of what was actually happening. Can't imagine i've got 4 hours of lecture to 6 p.m tomorrow. Argh... Please don't let me fall asleep or i'm bound to get into some sort of unwanted trouble.

Decided to bring back 'More To Life' cos' i tink it actually brings more life to my bloggie...

I hate it whenever I have ups and downs. Especially when it's on and off, on and off. I don't understand how can ppl just smash up my happiness that they just build up. Eventhough it's not on purpose. I just feel real miserable. It's been a week. And maybe even longer than that. I've had enough of it. Just yesterday when I thought everything would be going fine. And now? Shucks.

But the problems leads... I always end up blaming myself. This makes me even miserable. But at least I won't hate and I won't piss. I'll just blame... MYSELF.

Anyway, my bandwidth ish over again. That's why all my pics couldn't be shown. Fer safe purpose, I've change the song everybodys' in love with to a Midi. And sorry Alvin, your song can't be played anymore. If you wanna, I tink you should upload into yur own server. I can't afford to cross my bandwidth again.

Saturday

(9.14pm)

The urge to blog was so strong but i met it. Blogger having problems. Argh... This ish so sick.

The Moment When The One I Needed Badly Wasn't There

My eyes were blinking,
I knew i wasn't awake.
But i was definitely clear of everything.
I hope my heart stops playing,
A game of mine.

Time went fast and smooth,
I changed and strike off.
While it brought me towards my journey,
From a high apartment,
Down to the ground.
I was anticipating,
That smile i wanted to see.
My heart grew so strong.
The feeling was so explosive.

Things didn't brought me further.
How i imagine i could,
But soon the pathway was revealed.
And by then i realise,
It was all just a dream.

The warm embrace i wish i had,
Wasn't granted at all.
My soul began to wander around,
Everywhere in this small neighbourhood.

It's time fer me to leave,
This lonely place of mine.
Where ish the heaven i proposed every night?
Don't make me fall forever.

(12.56am)

Dream Bella M

Friday, I went out with my sisters (Yan And Adel). It was a nice day through. Life ish occasionally fun if your mind ish at freeze. I woke up in the afternoon just giving myself time to catch the sun. Saw the phone right by my side, I decided to give Yan a call. Dated her out to Orchard. While I was preparing myself out, Adeline decided to tag along. We manage to meet but not just in time. Haa, kkays. Girls, love to dress-up. Late late late. Nonetheless, everything went smooth, we paced our route to Far East Plaza. In mind, getting ready fer these neoprint shots. Here ar some fer ya ppl to enjoy. The rest could be found in Yan's And Adel's Blog.



I look so spastic there. But I love it. It's me!! Haa...



A Whole Collection.... Sweetie babes... Ooopss... Hee...

That's all i have. Yeah, that's also how Dream Bella appeared. All thanks to Qiyan. According to her, it's kinda a fantasy name fer the 3 of us. And I'm Dream Bella M. The rest i'll just let you guys figure out. Had our meal at Scotts. I was kinda quiet. And the two girls kept munching and munching. All filled, we stroll towards Ck Tangs' bus stop to head towards Suntec City. (Anyway, is Ck Tangs really so deserted? This two fellows know none about it's location.) While passing through the main entrance of Ck Tangs. This sissy guy approached us with a very weird question. Can I help to trim yur eyebrowns? It's definitely me being the one. Cos' my eyebrowns were in a mess. Haa. But i didn't chose to. It's lyke I don't trust and I don't need. He keept saying that he ish famous and many girls love his skills. Nah, Adel said it's all a fake.

We reached Suntec Convention Hall and to the Comex Fair. Breeze around the fair, computers ar real cheap these days. We went down to the fountain terrace, saw this dedication machine. Made a foolish dedication. To: Mel, Yan, Adel. From: Dream Bella. 'Happiness... Bless them. Love you guys.' We also went round the fountain 3 times in clockwise distance. It's rumoured that it's the best 'Feng Shui District' and it would bring fortune to one! Truthfully, I hope it really will. Then, we went to Carrefour, got a tub of 'Meiji Green Tea Ice Cream'. Again, all thanks to Qiyan. Got some spoons. Made our way to the Fountain. Sat at one of the benches and ate. Was waiting until our dedication came out. There was laser presentation too. So we could actually view our message there. Adeline went nuts when someone proposed using the the dedication. But i admit, it was lyke so sweet. Aww... Will you marry me? Hmmm, this will never happen to me. We sat around that corner until 10 struck. Made our way to esplanade and chat. We discuss about new topics we never tried before. Hee. Everything came to an end when I needed to rush fer the last 960. Then, i made my way home. Leaving those two gers by to continue munching...

lazy to blog...

stupid brother. bringing me towards trouble. hate it man. he breech into my blog using my dad's com. luckily just in front of mum instead of dad. now mum knows everything about me and him. i didn't wanted to hide. just waiting fer the time to tell. stupid arse. she gave me a stupid scolding. saying if you let yur dad read your blog, you'll be dead. and you better know what ar you doing. it's not lyke i don't know what am i doing. come on' in this age of life, what could you do? study and study? get a diploma, get to the university and work work work. then, be a poor little widow fer yur life? shucks, hate everything now. this stupid moment of life. why not just sent me up the hill and i'll just live there. maybe it would be much peaceful with my bald head. had finish solving my laptop and now this. argh, problems just keep rushing into my blood vessels. go to hell and leave me in peace. waste my time fer praying fer you people every night, blessing your souls.

gosh, i feel so cursed now. fer no sickening reason, my laptop had gone bonkers. i really can't understand why. man, this ish such a bad week fer me. now i've to go thru everything again. all that passive hours of installing my programmes in school! argh, why can't i just pass by pathetic life smoothly. shucks, i hate it.

haa. so lazy to blog. inspiration damn stuck. didn't had much of a great day the pass two days. but problems ar solve le. so don't worry fer me. i'll be alright. my physiology test ish arriving soon this thursday. better start studying... and my tutorials not done yet. gonna get everything done by tomorrow. holidays ar reaching an end. so sad! working this saturday and sunday at suntec. quite lazy to do so too. hee. but must help dad.

`crying makes one so tiring. somehow it's lyke you can't breathe anymore and the end ish near. so babes, don't tear. it hurts every single muscle tissue in your body especially the area surrounding yur heart.

By the way, i just discovered this all thanks to Khairomi. You could actually go Yahoo and search fer my full name (Melissa Lee Huay Er). And you'll get my blog webby there! Super cool right? Hee. Makes me seem so popular. Wow... I know what you must be thinking... I'm a naive ger? Haa. Please let me be happy fer once. (=

Went out today, got my highlight. Reading back this...

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

heloo, i've just woke up from a nap. been out today again. went to highlight my hair. it's red ruby but after a few months of washing it gonna turn brown blonde. er, i'm not sure to say whether it's nice or not. overall alright. it's the colour i've wanted all along but it's kinda not as obvious enough. anyway, as told by everyone around me, it will be obvious after a few washes. which i hope really will. haa. i think it should be the right colour fer me now, i've decided to be kinda low down fer the time being. so, give me half a year and i'll give ya craze, i believe so.

Yeah yeah, my hair ish now a craze and perhaps too much!! Wasn't able to get the color i want, cos hairdresser said it's hard to mix that color and my hair will never get that shade i want. Den she gave me this color... Chestnut base color and blonde strips. But argh, it was a total nightmare! My hair turn out super orange and blonde! Nah, i can't possibly go back in time to stop this. Overall, i'm just pretty contempted with it i guess and i hope.

After getting my hair done, i went to meet darling at far east plaza. We plan to get our neoprints done fer our new hairstyle. Oops, i mean color. I love them all. Really fantastic. Hee. Take a look below!



Tata!



Practising YOGA!! Love myself in this... At least i don't look fat in there!



Wow... Love this the most!! Hee... Definitely...

Yeah, and i got my idol's new album. So delighted! Anyway, my enetation (comments link) ish out of order. I basically don't know why. Plus my programming skills ish totally not advanced enough to solve it. And i guess i'll just let it be. Or maybe get back to it sometime later. Or even get help from experts. (You should know who you ar... Hee) That's fer today. Hope the pictures ar entertaining enough fer you guys. Do leave your messages in my tagboard!!

It has been some time since i last blog... Tired and stress up recently. Luckily darling ish here to accompany me... Got cell biology common test today... I didn't had much mood to memorise all those... But just manage to conquer it. Hope i can score some kind of acceptable result.

Wednesday, i went out with darling again as usual. Went fer a movie. The medallion. Not bad, funny and entertaining... All those jacky chan stunts buzzing around and this time even superb with him having the ability to fly here and there. Alright, i admit. It's kinda fake. But it's funny... After that we went chinatown fer our dinner. Filled porridge into our stomach. Darling always have the habit of sweating while eating. Guess he's really enjoying his meal. We then went merlion park to look at mars. So pathetic orange star... Small and still small... Really disappointing after all. But don't bother...

Thursday, darling had his hair dyed. Cool colour. Haa... But i can't stop laughing at him. He looks real stunning and different now. Doesn't prick me... I'm gonna get my highlight done tomorrow!! Yeah!

Went back to my secondary school today... Yusof ishak!! Kkays, i won't say it rules. It was teacher's day. But wasn't really feeling well after all. Nearly fainted. Argh, kkays... Weakling girl. I know what you ar saying... But seeing the teachers and meeting my former classmates was so nostalgic... Brought me back memories of the alley and that classroom... I can slowly sniff flavours of warmth. Some pics going down below... Mr Chow ish still real funny... The way he chatted with me ish lyke as if he knew me yesterday. And he can't recognise me. Dear Aishah, she commentted i grew fat the last bbq we had. And today? She said i am too skinny. Must eat more! Haa...

Edited Version



Another 1 with My favourite chemistry teacher. Mr Chow... And social studies teacher. Mdm Ong...

where ish my enetation?? argh...

Mum gave a hilarious topic off my swollen leg today... She said i didn't hit and torture my new flip-flop fer 3 continuous times. That's what resulted my flip-flops to dis-obey me. Didn't knew Mum was such a lamer. Kkays, maybe i deserve it. Went out with darling today. Walk here and there, everywhere man. Wasn't able to get him his slippers cos' the only size left was too big fer his foot. Went to scotts fer dinner. Shared a bowl of mixed fish noodles and chunky mushroom with darling. Ends up with a cup of honey-dew juice. Then, took a bus to fort canning park. Sat there fer awhile, chit-chat... Guess there's something weird happening around. Kept hearing sounds of animal groaning. And it's real real loud. At first, i thought it's some sort of mechanism sound. But before leaving the park, darling brought me near to the drains. And i can really hear the groaning underneath everywhere real loud. Seems lyke some kind of animal trapped. I mean animalsss... Freaky...

went on this super duper shopping trip today. spent 102 bucks at giordano. a dull brown khakis, black and light blue v-neck top a and another army green top. man, such a freak... spent another 50 plus at charles and keith. got two flip flops. one classic white and the other casual black. both very nice. got another mini skirt at isetan. pretty red. lalala... gotta get my highlight done by next week. tomorrow gonna get darling his topman slippers and my yowei cd.! finally my wishlist ish completing... wow...

Fluid losing,
it leaks from the vision i need,
slides down till it drips,
at the edge of my chin.

It's been that third night,
like i've been curse upon my bed.
Soon i might start losing,
everything i have.
But what do i own?
It doubts so inside.

So terrified now,
i don't wanna lose.
Him especially.

But it itches everytime i think about it,
the sensitive touch i need.
Why can't i stop questioning?
Why can't i be just satisfy?

When will the gray clouds sway away?
When will i find?
What ish actually missing?
Or ish it just too near to feel?

Soon sunlight will breach,
in this small corner of mine.
Hoping what i'm feeling tonight,
was a dream not meant to be true.

You are all of these.
Every individual requires individual needs and you recognize that.You can give them laughter, advice, ears, and gifts.
People love you, cause well... you are perfect.

Why Do People Like You? (pictures)
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Ur more suttle in ur hair style. U might like to be
curly or have hair with volume.


Witch Hair style would you have.
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Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
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You are Purple!


What colour are you?
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yes god, i'm beginning to build up this hatred fer this particular loser. once again, i really dislike the fact i'm feeling this. cos' i seldom am so. i always try to accept people fer who they ar and what they do. but this loser, not gonna mention HIS name ish a real sucking arse-hole. (sorry fer being so rude here, but i'm really pissed off by HIM) HIS actions and verbal attack really itch sometimes. and HE doesn't even tink before spitting out. i guess i'm not the only one now being disappointed by HIM. the whole tension ish building up within the people surrounding me. and if there ish a chance that HE goes far over my limit, HE'LL definitely get it from me. and by hook or crook, hope that HE'LL by then learn his lesson and his irritating attitude perishes...

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

Today had my cell biology presentation. It guess it's not bad after all, my oral picking up. Anyway, i went east coast park with my darling today. We reach there around evening and went cycling. Very relaxing and enjoyable. Both of us going through the breeze. Sat at the jetty and chit-chat. Not a bad trip there. Had our private moments in this quiet atmosphere. We cycled fer around an hour or so. Guess we should actually go there often, cos' time spent there seems to be foreva long. The clock ticks a second by another. Slow and smooth. Got very tired on our way back. I slept my whole journey home. Zzz...

So sleepy... Zzz... Me stuffing myself in the school's library now. Actually decided to get home(last night) but change thoughts this morning. You people must be thinking... So fickled minded girl... Ahuh? =P It's Mel here. Mel... Yesterday i had a hard time to actually fall asleep. Talk on the phone with darling until 3 plus. I wasn't angry about anything particular with me. Maybe i was. But maybe i'm not. I fell into deep dreams around 4. Woke up 3 times and turn off my alarm clock 3 times. I always had the trouble of getting up so i have this habit of setting 3 different timings. Just in case i fall back asleep again which i always do. Something weird happened... I forgotten to switch off the silent mode last night. And i could actually wake up in time to shut my alarm when it's silent. No sound? No alarm? How on earth did i got up? And it was not only once but thrice. Superb right. Who knows later i might actually develop this advanced skill and earn the title of timeless woman. Er, i mean girl! Haa.

It's been so long since i last blog. So sorry, was a little too busy this whole week. All thanks to my oral...

Wednesday
Went out with darling, cos' it's a wednesday!! I skipped an prize presentation event which i was suppose to attend and met him. Although things didn't turn out well between me and him at the beginning. But we were still happily together fer the day. Must tell him sorry fer actually being too bad-tempered. Shouldn't have neglected his choices. We ended up at Changi Airport. Had burger king, a definitely filled one.

Friday
ORAL!! This ish damn terrifying. I wasn't really prepared at all. Oh my god, was actually real nervous when i sat there. Knowing the time was near... Haa. However, i started gaining my confidence when i saw middle age aunties taking their oral too. Things went pretty fine, infact, better than i ever imagine. The theme was sort of designed fer me. It's about music!! And i was damn delighted with myself. Although not that fantastic speech i gave, but more than enough to actually obtain the results i need. Yeah!

Ahuh, bean accompanied me to the examination school and we went out after that. Went to habour front, chinatown, clake quay and boat quay. Many places right? Picture above taken by him. Found the scenery real nice. Hence, it's up there! We did quite a few miles of walking. Really tired when i got home. Nearly fall asleep while doing my cell biology project. A tiring but kinda enjoyable day. And i would lyke to say sorry to my cell biology teacher, fer actually falling asleep during her lecture. She even ask me about this when i went to talk to her. Hee, was a little too tired.


Another picture we took at the north-east line. An image of us. Special way of shooting right?

Saturday
Today ish a real special day. It's me and darling's third month together. Our day didn't actually work out well. We nearly quarrelled but again nonetheless, things went back well. I guess it's just so sweet of him to tolerate my mood swing. I was a little crazy with my assignments and projects piling up. Things got really tense up in my mind especially that my tests ar burging up and soon it's common test week. argh, everything ish moving real fast. Too fast, until there's nothing you could actually grab hold of. Back to the main event going on. We caught The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at plaza singapura. I shall rate it 4 out of 5 stars. It's not a bad film. Really nice and interesting. Something lyke the ancient version of X-men 2. With mutants lyke human. Before the movie, we went to ate cream puffs and ramen. Then we went pizza hut to try out the new 'cheeze pizza'. Taste quite good, very cheezy and chewy. Something you will never get sick of.


Took a picture of it. Looks yummy doesn't it?

After the movie and meals, we went to clarke quay. Sat there only fer awhile and it started to rain. The funniest thing happen. It was raining heavily. And we were actually trying to catch the last bus. So we breeze quickly towards the bus stop. Halfway while crossing the road, the green man turn red. I told darling not to cross. But he pulled me across, so i ran and... My sandals end up lyke this...



Looks so destructive right. Just imagine my legs stranded upon the road and running my way thru with this sandals flying around lyke a toopid saucer. Anyway, we ended up taking a cab home instead of bus. I didn't really blamed him. And wasn't angry about anything. Cos' it's not my favourite shoe. Hee, so i hope he won't be guilty about it. I just feel that it's so dramatic if someone could actually film down the whole scenerio. Haa.

Anyway, it's our third month together. Feel so close with him now. Really love him lots. And i know he feels the same way too. I just wanna note to him that...

"i'll make sure i'm always there. And you will too. There might be a long way to go and quarrels may hurt, speeches may itch. But it's between you and me that's gonna make everything turn out right. I'm sure hand by hand, we'll craft our pathway together always. One moment and you'll realise we ar meant fer each other. Happy 3 months of you and me!"


Our Legs!! Hee, together fer one!

LOVE YA LOTS DARLING

Edited Version



Cheese... Fer live... Part of my lovely class and me.!!

Pics had been edited. Go to my photo link to view the full size image of it. And a little more extra pics there. By the way, the link can be found in my introduction at the left hand corner which shows a PEEK-A-BOO.

Monday, July 21, 2003
Everything on my mind now ish work work work. Hee. Actually i'm not really sure if i'm coping well with my studies. Guess results gonna show during my common test. I might flunk my cell biology. But not a bother, i'll try my best. Give it the shot. Hope i can get help from my classmates.
--
2 weeks ago, i was just commenting that i might flunk my cell bio. but luckily my hard work was paid off. i manage to score 82 upon 100. so happy man. my nights of reading and understanding all there. although not the highest, but i'm pretty delighted fer my first try. after seeing that i always go blank when my tutor kept popping me with questions. it makes me seem really arse stupid. haa. kkays, enough of that. next tuesday ish my organic and biological chemistry test, hope i can pass with a slightly good grade.
------
Yan said this in her blog.
I won't deny that sometimes i really admire Melissa..She has the guts to say how she feels..and what she thinks..
And whenever there's problem, she'll spit it out with that person..Then solve it..
I can't..I never be able to do that..I put too many things into consideration before i do something..Causing
as a habit..i'd run away whenever i face problems..
--
just lyke what i replied her, she really makes me sound so direct classic style. er, i partially agree with them. i always feel that i need to actually cross those barriers to speak my mind out. straight-forward sagittarus. that's what i'll most of the time tell others, although my boyfriend never agrees with my statement. but i still think i am. kkays, actual fact. maybe fer the first period of things, i might keep to myself. but after tolerating to a extreme extend. the fumes let off and it's the time i'll just spit out everything. clear and direct. not wanting or meant to hurt. just a click and solve things out. there ar also times i'll never think before speaking which makes words sound really piercing.
------
school's getting more lively with my classmates around. took some pics today. will be shown as soon as possible. i've some sort decided to get into band again. just can't stop telling myself to resist that temptation of performing and playing the flute. my lifetime dream. but i'll see to it. hope i can actually adjust time well.

by the way, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!! TO SINGAPORE!!

gonna be real busy soon. tests and projects started burging up. actually those projects ar kinda useless and will never help much. lyke the one fer CATS. what kinda of stupid lessons fer creativity thinking. more lyke those taken in primary schools. IT projects ar also more or less useless. or should i say in-practical. if that ish the way to prove what we really know. i just feel it's really a total pull-off. hope this period gets over soon. coming week of study break and common test week. i really don't mind fer this. cos' this ish the time i really wanna know how stable can i be.

it's so fast and a month since i step into this poly life. i only can say that everythings just zooms off in lightning.

just got home not long ago. went out with darling again. we went ps then to compass point. met up qiyan fer dinner too. had a tight meal and nice chat. after all this, me and darling headed to marina to get the puma tee that i've been eyeing. we end up getting two tees, his XL and mine a L. so nice, so sweet. love him lots.~ muacks.

argh... she destroyed all the whole style of jumper's world. craze, she's lyke a head shorter than me or even more. maybe she's 145 or 150. shucks, the whole jumper's ish lyke all the way down. 3/4's becoming long pants. and the top she match within, terrible. a long tank top can't work in it. argh, i tink she ish those kind that let fashion kill her overnight. man, this agony makes me wanna grab a jumper's skirt by this wednesday and let her know what ish following fashion the right way all about.

Fer Bean, My Friend.
Love ish sometimes unexpected, filled with roses but at the same time thorns. Lyke once you said. Love can be the sweetest dream you have and the worst nightmare you fear. Learning to let go will make life much easier. Neglecting those harsh and hurtful words and put yur mind onto those sweet memories you once have with her. Hold on to that everlasting love you people once tried yur best to grab on. Write into words. Sing into tunes. Make yur life more beautiful with the people that ish still around to comfort ya.

i'm having this terrible high fever moving from 38.1 to 38.3 then now 38.6?? Argh... Save me. I still got lyke 2 test due next week. I can't get sick. No i can't!!