So sleepy... Zzz... Me stuffing myself in the school's library now. Actually decided to get home(last night) but change thoughts this morning. You people must be thinking... So fickled minded girl... Ahuh? =P It's Mel here. Mel... Yesterday i had a hard time to actually fall asleep. Talk on the phone with darling until 3 plus. I wasn't angry about anything particular with me. Maybe i was. But maybe i'm not. I fell into deep dreams around 4. Woke up 3 times and turn off my alarm clock 3 times. I always had the trouble of getting up so i have this habit of setting 3 different timings. Just in case i fall back asleep again which i always do. Something weird happened... I forgotten to switch off the silent mode last night. And i could actually wake up in time to shut my alarm when it's silent. No sound? No alarm? How on earth did i got up? And it was not only once but thrice. Superb right. Who knows later i might actually develop this advanced skill and earn the title of timeless woman. Er, i mean girl! Haa.

It's been so long since i last blog. So sorry, was a little too busy this whole week. All thanks to my oral...

Wednesday
Went out with darling, cos' it's a wednesday!! I skipped an prize presentation event which i was suppose to attend and met him. Although things didn't turn out well between me and him at the beginning. But we were still happily together fer the day. Must tell him sorry fer actually being too bad-tempered. Shouldn't have neglected his choices. We ended up at Changi Airport. Had burger king, a definitely filled one.

Friday
ORAL!! This ish damn terrifying. I wasn't really prepared at all. Oh my god, was actually real nervous when i sat there. Knowing the time was near... Haa. However, i started gaining my confidence when i saw middle age aunties taking their oral too. Things went pretty fine, infact, better than i ever imagine. The theme was sort of designed fer me. It's about music!! And i was damn delighted with myself. Although not that fantastic speech i gave, but more than enough to actually obtain the results i need. Yeah!

Ahuh, bean accompanied me to the examination school and we went out after that. Went to habour front, chinatown, clake quay and boat quay. Many places right? Picture above taken by him. Found the scenery real nice. Hence, it's up there! We did quite a few miles of walking. Really tired when i got home. Nearly fall asleep while doing my cell biology project. A tiring but kinda enjoyable day. And i would lyke to say sorry to my cell biology teacher, fer actually falling asleep during her lecture. She even ask me about this when i went to talk to her. Hee, was a little too tired.


Another picture we took at the north-east line. An image of us. Special way of shooting right?

Saturday
Today ish a real special day. It's me and darling's third month together. Our day didn't actually work out well. We nearly quarrelled but again nonetheless, things went back well. I guess it's just so sweet of him to tolerate my mood swing. I was a little crazy with my assignments and projects piling up. Things got really tense up in my mind especially that my tests ar burging up and soon it's common test week. argh, everything ish moving real fast. Too fast, until there's nothing you could actually grab hold of. Back to the main event going on. We caught The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at plaza singapura. I shall rate it 4 out of 5 stars. It's not a bad film. Really nice and interesting. Something lyke the ancient version of X-men 2. With mutants lyke human. Before the movie, we went to ate cream puffs and ramen. Then we went pizza hut to try out the new 'cheeze pizza'. Taste quite good, very cheezy and chewy. Something you will never get sick of.


Took a picture of it. Looks yummy doesn't it?

After the movie and meals, we went to clarke quay. Sat there only fer awhile and it started to rain. The funniest thing happen. It was raining heavily. And we were actually trying to catch the last bus. So we breeze quickly towards the bus stop. Halfway while crossing the road, the green man turn red. I told darling not to cross. But he pulled me across, so i ran and... My sandals end up lyke this...



Looks so destructive right. Just imagine my legs stranded upon the road and running my way thru with this sandals flying around lyke a toopid saucer. Anyway, we ended up taking a cab home instead of bus. I didn't really blamed him. And wasn't angry about anything. Cos' it's not my favourite shoe. Hee, so i hope he won't be guilty about it. I just feel that it's so dramatic if someone could actually film down the whole scenerio. Haa.

Anyway, it's our third month together. Feel so close with him now. Really love him lots. And i know he feels the same way too. I just wanna note to him that...

"i'll make sure i'm always there. And you will too. There might be a long way to go and quarrels may hurt, speeches may itch. But it's between you and me that's gonna make everything turn out right. I'm sure hand by hand, we'll craft our pathway together always. One moment and you'll realise we ar meant fer each other. Happy 3 months of you and me!"


Our Legs!! Hee, together fer one!

LOVE YA LOTS DARLING

Edited Version



Cheese... Fer live... Part of my lovely class and me.!!

Pics had been edited. Go to my photo link to view the full size image of it. And a little more extra pics there. By the way, the link can be found in my introduction at the left hand corner which shows a PEEK-A-BOO.

Monday, July 21, 2003
Everything on my mind now ish work work work. Hee. Actually i'm not really sure if i'm coping well with my studies. Guess results gonna show during my common test. I might flunk my cell biology. But not a bother, i'll try my best. Give it the shot. Hope i can get help from my classmates.
--
2 weeks ago, i was just commenting that i might flunk my cell bio. but luckily my hard work was paid off. i manage to score 82 upon 100. so happy man. my nights of reading and understanding all there. although not the highest, but i'm pretty delighted fer my first try. after seeing that i always go blank when my tutor kept popping me with questions. it makes me seem really arse stupid. haa. kkays, enough of that. next tuesday ish my organic and biological chemistry test, hope i can pass with a slightly good grade.
------
Yan said this in her blog.
I won't deny that sometimes i really admire Melissa..She has the guts to say how she feels..and what she thinks..
And whenever there's problem, she'll spit it out with that person..Then solve it..
I can't..I never be able to do that..I put too many things into consideration before i do something..Causing
as a habit..i'd run away whenever i face problems..
--
just lyke what i replied her, she really makes me sound so direct classic style. er, i partially agree with them. i always feel that i need to actually cross those barriers to speak my mind out. straight-forward sagittarus. that's what i'll most of the time tell others, although my boyfriend never agrees with my statement. but i still think i am. kkays, actual fact. maybe fer the first period of things, i might keep to myself. but after tolerating to a extreme extend. the fumes let off and it's the time i'll just spit out everything. clear and direct. not wanting or meant to hurt. just a click and solve things out. there ar also times i'll never think before speaking which makes words sound really piercing.
------
school's getting more lively with my classmates around. took some pics today. will be shown as soon as possible. i've some sort decided to get into band again. just can't stop telling myself to resist that temptation of performing and playing the flute. my lifetime dream. but i'll see to it. hope i can actually adjust time well.

by the way, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!! TO SINGAPORE!!

gonna be real busy soon. tests and projects started burging up. actually those projects ar kinda useless and will never help much. lyke the one fer CATS. what kinda of stupid lessons fer creativity thinking. more lyke those taken in primary schools. IT projects ar also more or less useless. or should i say in-practical. if that ish the way to prove what we really know. i just feel it's really a total pull-off. hope this period gets over soon. coming week of study break and common test week. i really don't mind fer this. cos' this ish the time i really wanna know how stable can i be.

it's so fast and a month since i step into this poly life. i only can say that everythings just zooms off in lightning.

just got home not long ago. went out with darling again. we went ps then to compass point. met up qiyan fer dinner too. had a tight meal and nice chat. after all this, me and darling headed to marina to get the puma tee that i've been eyeing. we end up getting two tees, his XL and mine a L. so nice, so sweet. love him lots.~ muacks.

argh... she destroyed all the whole style of jumper's world. craze, she's lyke a head shorter than me or even more. maybe she's 145 or 150. shucks, the whole jumper's ish lyke all the way down. 3/4's becoming long pants. and the top she match within, terrible. a long tank top can't work in it. argh, i tink she ish those kind that let fashion kill her overnight. man, this agony makes me wanna grab a jumper's skirt by this wednesday and let her know what ish following fashion the right way all about.

Fer Bean, My Friend.
Love ish sometimes unexpected, filled with roses but at the same time thorns. Lyke once you said. Love can be the sweetest dream you have and the worst nightmare you fear. Learning to let go will make life much easier. Neglecting those harsh and hurtful words and put yur mind onto those sweet memories you once have with her. Hold on to that everlasting love you people once tried yur best to grab on. Write into words. Sing into tunes. Make yur life more beautiful with the people that ish still around to comfort ya.

i'm having this terrible high fever moving from 38.1 to 38.3 then now 38.6?? Argh... Save me. I still got lyke 2 test due next week. I can't get sick. No i can't!!

Stuck

I cant get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just cant seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging on a string
Why you make me cry
I tried to give u everything
But you just give lies
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

Now love's a broken record
That's been skippin' in my head
I keep singing Yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

I aint trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinkin of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck on you

busy busy busy. tt's what all ish in my mind. physio test, IT test, cell bio test, still got? organic and biological chemistry. what's more to come? my IS online test. and and and, my very repeat o's english. and what kinda of cca can i take? none. none that suits my timing, none that suits me.

It has been some time since i last blog. Hmmm, being busy at times. I wasn't as usual slacking at home during this weekend.

Sat
Went out with darling to Sim Lim Square. He got me my laptop protector. It's quite costly. Really need to thank him. This is the first time i recieve a gift from him. So delighted. Yeah, and it's the first time i ever been to his house. Normally his mother will be guarding his cave. But Saturday, his family went fer NDP preview which of cos' i missed. Hence, i'm able to make my visit there. Saturday was really kinda special. We went to Chinatown to actually have our dinner. Just at the roadside stall. So sweet right. Although the porridge was so called popular but it isn't as delicious as the one at Maxwell. Had a tight and nice meal and walk around Chinatown. With the mrt, everything seems so convinient. Really nice atmosphere going on there. No longer the old streets. The new "China" flavour around the whole place.

Sun
I went out with him again. This time to esplanade library to do my tutorial and revision.

Got some photos uploaded. Check if you're interested. In the digital images folder.

Outing To Town.

We didn't really have much pics that ar nice to show. All just kinda fer us the laugh our teeth out. Right yan.

My eyelids so heavy. I'm feeling real tired now. Wanna get to bed soon. Today i had many ups and downs. Maybe it's somehow related. Sometimes people over-see the true side of it. Is it really important that everything should be the opposite to actually balanced? I really doubt it so. It's the same time of life again that i'm been senstive and really pulled off over matters. Once again, the terror ish coming back. And Shunfoong, i'm not actually blessed yet. I can sniff the strong carbon monoxide in my own atmosphere, some sort there to kill me slowly. Eating my haemoglobins up and poisoning every breathe i take. I think it's time fer me to take a break from everything i could really let go off. Sometimes it's good just to leave yurself alone all stuck up in a small corner of yur room. At least you know mentally, you'll be safe there.

If i were to be missing,
Where would i be?
If i were to be crying,
Who will be there?
If i were to be dying,
Who would actually care?

Today, i went out with yan. Last minute decision. Went town of cos'. Nothing much to buy. Actually did saw this jumpers' skirt and 3/4 pants that's nice. But nah, i don't have such money to waste. Blog continues tomorrow, i hope.

To My Special Friends

To my special friends,
who captured my heart,
just when i lost everything,
and was about to fall apart.

Everytime a problem comes along,
it seems you people will always be there.
I never would have made it,
without the friendship we share.

Unspoken

Melodies of love, old and slow.
llumination from only a candle glow.
I spot you then from the corner of my eye,
The most brilliant star in all the sky.

I wish to reach across all space,
To take your hand, feel your embrace.
The love songs make me sway in time,
And wish so much that you were here.

I imagine you there in front of me,
And can see you most vividly.
Around my waist your hand is placed,
Your other hand in mine, softly interlaced.

And the part that makes me want to cry,
Is just looking up into your blue eyes,
Being lost in your gaze is such a beautiful way.

To say all the things we never could say,
So the tears are not those of pain,
Just an outpouring of true love's rain.
How clearly I envision looking up at you,
Feeling you holding me while I do.
I long for that feeling unspoken we share.
We are truly blessed with love that is rare.

`Fer ya darling.

Unscientific Answers

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.
Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's Love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's Love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's Love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love.
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it's Love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love.

Got This From Mei's Email.

Everything on my mind now ish work work work. Hee. Actually i'm not really sure if i'm coping well with my studies. Guess results gonna show during my common test. I might flunk my cell biology. But not a bother, i'll try my best. Give it the shot. Hope i can get help from my classmates.

Why I Love You?

Everytime I think about you,
I'm go through all the reasons.
Why this love comes from depth in my heart and soul?
And I wonder what I'd do without you,
Without your healing smile,
Your words of faith,
The caring and sensitive way touch from you,
Lifting me up whenever I need it most.
You're the one of minimal who ever accepted me for who I am.
Thanks fer the love you gave.

Both of us ar just lyke part of a jigsaw puzzles.
I'll fill up yur jagged edges and you'll fill out mine.
Although it's still a long way to go,
I believe your love fer me will push me along the way.
Time will pull us apart but who cares?
As long as you ar here and I'll be there,
Our love will shower us all the sweetness we need.

I'm so sorry people. I can't really give you my 100% (full attention). I'm now kinda tied up by school work and activities. I'm always spending my time in school or doing my tutorials or even sleeping(zZzz...). School ish gonna stay this hectic and maybe even more. So pardon me if i'm not around. But as i promised i'll try to give ya all the time you need from me. Especially my darling, don't worry if i'm busy. I'll always give my time to you.

Thanks fer all that compliments you peolple gave to my blog. At least i know someone ish watching and reading about my life. Muacks to all of my sistas and friends.

added a musical touch to it. i'm still searching and learning more stuffs to add here. hope i'll make it more enhanced.

Oh my god, my ass is darn numb now. After all the pressure exterted on it while sitting on the floor with my notebook on my lap. I've change my blogskin. I don't really know whether it's nice anot. Maybe a little different. I suppose i'm gonna add some new stuffs inside. Just trying out. I'm quite a com idiot after all.

Thursday ish gonna be one day i would really hate. With those Is classes i need to take. Argh, such a terror. I'm killed in boredom by this two lecturers and a dead class. Plus classes start at 1. It turns me into a real squirrel comforting myself to bed until 11 plus. And i get real lazy, i don't even bother to dress up. Haa. Today i just slipped into my jeans and t-shirt and just flew off to school. I look so sloppy. Hee. I had tons of dreams last night and even until morning. During my very first dream, i cried myself awake. It was quite a realistic scenerio after all. To only recall that it was the last part my mum kept throwing my things down the window. And i was darn sad and weeping. Until i make a loud weep awake. It was only 6 plus in the early morning then. So i hide myself under my pillow and went back to bed. Dreams keep conquering my mind again.


I'm really tired and exhausted this week. For no reason. For no reason. I feel lyke stuffing myself in bed and forget everything.

Hmmm, I just reach home not long ago. Had a short day in school today. Do i look lyke someone who will give a tattoo on my skin? Oh my god, my classmates thought i had a tattoo. Anyway, i went out today with my darling. It ish only wednesdays that we could really spend much time together. Caught this "Truth Or Dare" movie at ps. Overall not bad. All about youth stuffs. Love, friends and family. The only thing that ish different was they were kinda mixed. Boys and gers. You can't really see this sight in Singapore. There's no bunch of gers lving with another bunch of guys. And they ar only friends.


Khairomi contact me today and told me about his quiting of JI and into laselle SIA. Really shocks me alot fer someone to actually be willing to get a diploma in music. Although i don't object, but i still believe all these stuffs ar kinda on-going and will continue a lifetime. It's not just a matter of a period of years and you end off the best. Talents lyke this needs lots of recognition to actually survive in the community. Fer someone lyke me with musical genes, but never will cross the mind of feeding myself fer the rest of my life under such situations. I still wanna wish him all the best. And hope he makes everyone proud. Something so artistic and daring. Admire his guts.

Wow, it has been a tiring day ahead. I'm so burn out that i can't force myself to lift up my fingers. Even lazier to remove my nail polish. My back still aches lyke mad now plus my neck being stiff and strained. After a full 2 hours of total dreamland, i'm still glazing halfway. My dreams kept pouring into my pure mind. Just can't seem to wake up of it. Dreamt of many silly things. My thoughts really gave out of control. Soon, i'll go mugging in my biology revision. So take care all peeps.


Message Fer Tomorrow







To my beloved darling, Happy Two Months Together! Our route may seem still short but i'm sure we'll widen our map wide ahead. I love ya lots and i'm sure you'll be the same too.

Soccer


What is this sport all about? Is it some kind of organization game where men run around chasing the white ball or one innovative activity where it all started out in ancient times with just something round? My craze for viewing soccer started out all because of the World Cup 2002. I have to admit it isn't such an interesting game to catch but to think of being able to capture my favourite star player sweating himself out in the field makes me especially excited.


As continued tomorrow... or later part of this month.

suddenly i realise the beauty of diamonds. why girls love them so much and would fight their ends to get hold of one. it's pretty amazing. imagine a guy would to kneel down and give ya flowers. and hiding inside this bouquet of flowers, something keeps glimmering and hurting yur eye. A DIAMOND RING! although i don't expect my future partner of my life to spend such money but it's many times that the temptation remains. hee.







Diamond. A amazing piece of carbon!

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're totally content. Yeah everyone has their
bad days but you don't have many...either that
or you hide it. You help the funny girls make
the world go round


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

listening to michelle branch - here with me once again. still using my laptop. i've been on it the whole day. shucks. maybe i should let it rest. haa. i actually decided to rest fer the night until my friend gave me a call and request help from me. i then lay my hands on this poor keyboard and started typing and typing again. gosh, i've to like bring this heavy thingy to school tomorrow and my lab coat. i hate that hp bag. haa. seems so "cheena". guess i just have no choice. school ish just simply tasteless. it's really up to me to add spices to it. no hunks really. haa. the only one i've seen was in the library. he ish really darn cool and simple with his polo tees & nice features. just can't leave my eyes off him. eee, i sound so preverted. but he ish really that attractive. saw willy lau on friday when i'm out with adeline at heeren. he ish also another hunk. his only disadvantage was the height. adeline end up crazier fer him. nonetheless, nobody could be compared in my heart to my beloved darling and yowei.

here i am. i'm early today! in this glazing morning. i woke up lyke 7am. so damn early right? all thank to my handphone. anyway, i don't mind. since i need to wake up at 6 plus tomorrow. hmmm, weekends sun seems to rise so darn early. i'm now blogging through my new lappy. although not a fabulous one. but it's my little treasure. simple and nice. good enough and sufficient fer me. school ish building up. i haven't started reading my biology stuffs. i guess i better stop playing and get my work done. hee.

hmmm, being kinda lazy to blog. hee, just tired after schooling. although not much stuffs starting yet, but everything ish tiring cos' it has been quite some time since i last exercise my brain cells. everything gonna be quite tedious in a few coming months. my oral exams ar coming soon. and the idea of facing those devil-looking invigilator kinda frightens off my every hair-line. gosh, gotta start reading up. burshing up. i'm most probably choosing a musical cca. something more artistic, more evangeline. classmates ar not bad. not considering the fact that it's poly life. i've tried to tied down myself to those highly active character ish class now. i hope i did. haa. but maybe i should try and get everyone working together. or maybe i should not. it'll depends all on the way i'm gonna evaluate things. so long so far, life ish going pretty well with my pretty babe.


`friends, if i happen not to contact ya too often.

`don't blame me. i'm just tired and forget-ful.

Seems lyke it's just yesterday, I drag my feet to school in the early morning. However, this time without my uniform attire. A total different feeling. On my foot, not converse but adidas. i wasn't really gonna expect alot. just hope that this could be a good start. really hate to think of regretting again. sleeping gonna be my forte once again.


class? overall, alright. the people were easy to hang along with. but still need a long time fer everyone to clique together. notes ish the vital elements of my poly life. just only the first day and i got this two big bulks of notes. today woke up real early fer lessons at 8. school ended at 4. sounds huge? nah, i've this 3 hours break in between. so it ain't much after all. after all the school school school, went over clementi to meet my darling. kinda long since we've last met? kkays, 3 days? not long enough ar. haa. that's all fer the day.


`money money money.

school ish starting soon. infact after a night rest. argh, i'm starting to feel that impact of it. gosh, gonna start studying again. my time table really sucks in total. breaks ar now a disaster fer me. not time to relax but time to slack and idle. really miss secondary school life. so nostalgic about those years.

today, went to east coast park. last minute decision of mine. got there quite late. but i made full use of my digital cams. i was lyke crazy taking pictures here and there. just can't miss every single moment. the weather wasn't really plan fer us. we went cycling in quite late hours. got ourselves all dirty and wet. this ish the ever first time i've got myself dirty without even touching the ground. argh, i'm now all strained and tired. but i'm still up at this wee hours of mine. i wonder what ar the rest of the group doing there now. shouldn't have came home. tried to get home early fer a shitty reason. and i'm getting this all in a return. photos uploading ish really taking up a hell lot of time especially when yahoo goes haywire again. feeling kinda sick now. everything just don't go too well fer me. but i won't bother. will never. i'll be shutting my eyes soon. walking on streets with blindfolded eyes. don't bother about my matters too. it makes me more sickening if you stop so. guess i'm not really speaking with the right sense of mind now. i might regret bullshitting so much tommorrow when i'm awake. but i do not fcuking care.


`senstivity.

feeling - chill, cold, winter
listening to the sorrows lead out from my heart


it's time again,

everything goes haywire.

life ain't as peaceful as you wish so.

rainbows not glimmering eventhough they need so.


the clock ticks.

dreams ar calling me back,

into their world of darkness and pain.

nightmares haunting my own life.

ish this what i suppose to go thru,

again?

feeling - blues, calm, up and downs.
listening to mikaila - emotional


my mood going high and low this whole week. and when it's low, it's really sinking. yesterday everything got in a terrible state, can't manage to locate my own soul. but thanks to him. he held me up and pulled everything back. it's the very first time i felt so strong towards his actions and speech. without knowing, i embraced myself to him. fer his protection and care. lyke a small child weeping fer some sense of security. i'm glad he ish beside me giving me the ever-loving warmth i need. i don't wanna sound mushy here. but this ish me.


`but will i be too much a burden fer him?

waiting now. going out to cycle soon. people will wonder why, cycle in the middle of the night? ar you crazy? haven't you seen this jogging lady been sexually abused? don't worry fer me. i'm with someone who can protect me well. don't doubt, but i'm living fine now. just hasn't really got my mood put up fer my school opening next week. can't accept the fact that seven pity months has gone.

new photos posted up. take a look if you're interested. by the way, today i got to np. taken my ez-link card and my pe tees and shorts. went to bugis and got my muji stationary. tiring. will blog tomorrow.

Daily Horoscope - July 2, 2003


Successes with your work continue to bring good fortune your way, and today you might find reassurance that this is not a flash in the pan - you're likely to be financially secure for a long time. Health-wise, you're probably feeling strong and robust, full of energy and stamina, and ready to take on just about any challenge you can find. Move on ahead, Melissa, but move with caution. You're never too prosperous to be careful.


`hope it ish true. omg.

got some new pics loaded up. check them out!

yups. got it done. nothing fantastic.


`notice the cut off from a wishlist of 16 to now 12. i guess i just have to get them off.

feeling - yawning, delightful, expensive
listening to running - no doubt
weather - sorry, i don't know


i'm waiting so i might as well blog tonight. although, i'm real tired but no choice but to blog now. anyway, i've went fer my haircut today. it's short on my opinion. but i don't care anymore. actually wanted to highlight today. but can't put colour on this short hair of mine. guess, i should wait fer a few more months to come. gonna highlight this 'golden ash very light blonde' sounds so windy right. ahuh, dad gave me a digital cam of my own this time. but i don't really know fer what reason. it's real small and handy. think i'm gonna be fanatic in taking pics soon, since it's in such a convinient state.


actually i kinda give up hope on my adidas shoes. no money no shoes. i guess i should get a job now. and start earning. and stop depending too much on my parents. i don't wanna be a burden to them.


`zZz...

feeling - terrified, worried, difficult
listening to none
weather - peaceful


my school gonna start soon. and my set of modules ar so mix up. i mean, i think it's not an good idea fer me to learn the set of modules i land up in this semester. why the hard one first, argh. plus they were more fer helping me onto year 2. and if i were to get everything down this semester, by the next year. i'll forget most of the stuffs. and i'm lyke flying the plane without learning the foundation of flights. argh, what a crappy arrangement. without even learning my mircobiology, i need to jump to cell biology. guess i'm just unlucky. damn unlucky.


`miracles fer me, please.

feeling - hours ago, sad abt some attitude. now, praying.
listening to tv - sound waves vibrating towards my room
weather - stuffy


hmmm, fer this entry. i wanna thank god fer showering me the people around me. bless them, bless those who care, bless those who speak of truths, bless those acceptional ones who sunk. today i did nothing much but to slack around at home. last night wasn't really feeling that well, took my panadols and had a tight rest. harry potter ish out but i'm still waiting fer my cousin in Us. he promised to send me back one copy of it. it's not that i don't wanna lay my expenses on it. it's just that my cousin had specially ordered a copy a few months ago in Us.


`don't hide yur feelings.

feeling - sleepy, grounded
listening to clay aiken - unchained melody
weather - cold, drewy


i've got back from my shopping spree not long ago. really tired from the walking and trying. i'm happy with what i've purchased today. got a nice beads/brown bracelet, a nice brown/milky 3 quarter pants and a black sleveless top. i might be getting back to topshop at wistma to get this lovely heart shape sea-shell sort of necklace. all in all, i ended up grounded by mum from spending money on clothes again. saddening. anyway, i went out with xiaowen today, my best and only buddy from primary school days. we sprinkle around town here and there, back and forth. she just kept searching clothes fer his guy, that's all. after a long afternoon, we went to this teppanyaki + steamboat buffet restuarant at cineleisure fer dinner. we ate fer a maximum of 2 hours. can't believe it, gosh. but her appetite was real big as compared to mine. my stomach was darn heavy after even an hour or so. after the main meal, we then continued another hour there fer our ice-cream. cool, pouring the liquid over the whole circle of silver plate, waiting fer it to solidify. not a bad place to dine in after all.


`so casual, so foreign

feeling - icy, freezy
listening to elva + hu yan bing - jing xing shi
weather - hell the peeps, my windows ar close.


i'm freezing in my small privacy which means my room. 26 degress and yet i can't take it. haa. gosh, today ish a tiring day. went searching a new look fer my blog and yeah, i got it. happy with it too. cycling and running around my neighbourhood just now. my brother keeps dragging my way thru. i can't seem to surpass him. not becos i was lousy, cos' he's blocking! great exercise and i'm glad i'll be losing some weight soon! hopefully, it happens. haa.


`brain cells killed in the battle.

feeling - wonderful, congrats
listening to michelle branch - here to me
weather - cooling, cloudy


swaying with the music,
waiting fer the time to come.
i'm gonna head out,
in my free will.
cycling around my hood.
the breeze gonna crystalise me,
my face, my lips, my heart,
just lyke the way you did.


the song i'm listening now ish sweet. i love the mystical background.


`Cristal Amis = Crystal Friends

heloo guys, i've change a new template. but somehow there might be a little faulty areas. but please let me know your comments and any suggestions will do well too. thanks fer all that. i need a confirmation fer my effort, although this template wasn't design by me. but nonetheless the text here ar. hee.


`all in french.

hmmm, it has been a long time since i last cycled. haa, it was damn a mess cycling at west coast park. i didn't kept my balance all the time and was losing all of it while cycling. i even bang my way thru the plants and nearly hit one of the trees. haa. gosh, you people would be laughing your hell out if you were to saw that happening. anyway, the 4e1 gathering on saturday was overall cool. i mean, it isn't that fantastic but it brought memories back. somehow it's still the same gangs hanging around but there was fun and laughter everywhere. lingering my thoughts over the days we used to joke and play in class. argh, i miss them. nonetheless, no one has change much. maybe there will be in years to go. just wanna let all my classmates know that i'll remember most of them, and they ar part of my most important stage of life. get going people, i wish you all best of lucks.


just came back from cycling not long. now stuck into it. love cycling. melting soon, gonna cycle everyday from now onwards.


`nostalgic

upload some bbq photos up. er, further details i'll let ya people know later. lazy to blog at the moment.


`muacks.

thursday-
went to ngee ann convention day in the early morning. only told me something that it doesn't pays to be early in such occasion. i overslept. it's been a long time since i've ran around my home. but nonetheless, i was still late. anyway, the convention was what it was suppose to be. boring and boring. nothing much, went home after the whole thing. after that attended my jc gathering at marina south. it's alright, nothing fantastic. but it's kinda nice to meet most of them. they did kite flying the whole afternoon whereas i reach there later and didn't flew any. after all this, went fer bbq cum steamboat. er, people please don't go to this store 'chong pang' to waste your money. the food sucks, i mean food that ar need fer such bbq, ain't many. and too many cooked food.


feeling - nothing, nothing, nothing.


`lazy. dried

yeah baby... i've went out with adeline today. and i did not went home empty handed. finally, i've got my haversack! those military khakis coloured kinda. love it. plus i got it at a low price which i myself thought it was quite worth it. comparing with the one i bought last year at bukit panjang plaza, i think this haversack rocks. the one i bought last year was lyke twice the price of this. argh, makes me wanna tell everyone that the shop cheated my money. haa. anyway, none a bother. we went bugis today, took pics. 'ahuh, damn white'. this machine ish definitely suitable fer those who always love to bleach their skin white. cos' there's this function to choose between normal, white and super white. i look alright in that pic, somehow i've forgotten how to electrify the camera, just hate it cos' it's too white. adel look great in there. haa. right? check it out at my photos section.


`where ish heaven?
`it's right beside you when u're with yur love one.

i'm idling my way thru the night. now listening to my evanescence cd. gosh, the atmosphere in my privacy ish real sorrowful. taking over me ish a melancholic song with a fantastic starting melody. i remembered that the first song i heard from evanescence was bring me to life. somehow i didn't got much attracted to it, until my immortal came out.


i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone


these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase


love this part of my immortal. and out of the sudden, one day on my way to work, i heard it over the radio. somehow that period of my life was kinda down. as in a number of disconsolate stuffs had happened to me at that particular moment. the song did implicated my part of loneliness. and boom. i took a break from work and got the cd right away. everyday on my way to work, i'll keep listening. and days and days of work pass thru, i didn't really bothered about any other stuffs of my life. if you people wanna know what has happenned, try this link.


had change a new name fer this blog. and title too. by the way, votre sourire charme means your smile charms.


`nostalgic

Taking Over Me


you don't remember me but i remember you
i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
but who can decide what they dream?
and dream i do...


i believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me


have you forgotten all i know
and all we had?
you saw me mourning my love for you
and touched my hand
i knew you loved me then


i believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me


i look in the mirror and see your face
if i look deep enough
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over


`love this song by evanescence, especially the part in italic.

i'm beginning to feel quite restricted to stuffs. i somehow have this feeling that i can't express out. it's lyke something that i would wish to paint out. something that only with the swift of the brushes could actually supress out. haa, guess i'm just thinking blissfully.


really wish to continue with my flute business. it's been a long time since i touch them. man, i hope my skills ar not flawed. somehow playing the flute lets me feel the freedom. the freedom to create something soothing to ears. i still can't forget the days and the 'circle of life' tune. wow, those ar real memories.


`we do not fear or flinch.

i've caught ju-on last night. argh... haa. to my opinion, i suggest you people rather to miss it. but if you ar really lyke those timid and imaginary kinda of person, then go catch it. man, it's damn funny. it's lyke the ring 2. a lady starts crawling and crawling. first look, it might scare the hell out of you with it's mysterious background music. but the duration of it was darn too long. until it makes everyone wanna laugh. you wouldn't really understand the story outline. but gosh, that's what a japanese horror show normally ar. the boy ish cuter than scarier. ahuh, i think the best part ish the story of the school girls. first, they look pretty enough to attract you guys. second, that particular part was the most frightening one.


kkays. i'm just telling with my eyes half-closed. i'll rate it 3 stars out of 5.


`admitted. without realisation.

the hit.
the collision.
the destruct.
ouch.
the signs it shows.
the blood it drips.
argh.


swollen.
pain unleased.
to recover?
how long?
words tuck in mouth.
unable to tell.


`blarghhh...

er, i guess people ar getting bored to hearing my slacking at home. i'm gonna be quite occupied next week so stay tuned fer some 'stories' of my life. anyway, i've decided to write an essay each week to build up my language skills. i'll post them up here and hope by the time you guys could grade them up fer me. but a warning, it's gonna be quite boring after all, with all the limited language i have and my flunk grade from the o's.


hmmm, guess i'm gonna be home today too. actually i've thought of who to date out but i guess i'm not going to put it in action. i mean i've never tried and never want to. how i wish i'm working right now. i need my laptop. and at least working can put me away from everything. i don't need to wonder why am i slacking at home and why am i not out. and there ar much more excuses to tell myself. blarghhh......


`insecure?

hmmm, it's been a long time since i last blog about my daily stuffs. well, as life goes on these days, nothing ish much happening. i mean or let's say, i'm slacking a big hell lot. haa. been hook up to cantonese songs and oldies these days. i'm ashing and becoming an antique! hee.


went to this complusory safety talk in np this tuesday. man, it was all crap. plus the test was an idiot proof one. you people should know what it means. yeah, got there alone. i think i was if not counting the guy i met from pj. but anyway i went to chat with this girl beside me while having a long stroll around the school. yups, she's quiet and damn shock that i approached her. but nonetheless, i got a new partner. and creeps..... i found out most biomedical science girls ar..... the typical kind of homegrown girl. kkays. i mean they ar lyke those who wanna attract the attention of guys but to me? they failed to do so. haa. met this foolish load of guys too. they were sort of in the same group with me. don't say i'm thick skin, but they just kept their eyeballs swirling around me at times. then, i was having my lunch (forced to), sitting at one of the stairs. i was busy smsing. yeah, and they sat right behind me. i hope they didn't did it on purpose. i started to heard them talking about a girl. heard them guessing this girl age and blah blah blah. to me, i didn't thought much. until then one of them said, she ish busy smsing. must be smsing her boyfriend. so no chance of anything. gosh, i did look around. but every girl infront of me ish busy eating.


anyway, i've decided not the attend those FOC (camps). i guess i'm too lazy? or i've been through it, it's kinda fun. but after seeing how the people played around during the safety talk thing. everything just ran off my mind. peeps, i don't wanna talk about it. guess just have to wait fer the semester to start.


ahuh, yesterday went town. i caught finding the nemo. it's cute and hilarious. can't stop laughing. i really admire those people creating the vocal of those animated characters. darn, they ar real professional. how could they actually make it sound so real? haa. i love the part where dory starting speaking 'whale language'. and that mine? mine? mine? mine? mine? haa. i guess you people should really watch it. cool and entertaining one. i'll give it 4 out of 5 stars. yups, and all that under the ocean thing, beautiful and amazing.


be back later fer more. and yups. had uploaded some childhood pictures of mine. you people can view it. hmmm, and comment kkays? haa. new photos will be arriving next week. just gonna get my negatives wash next week. my digital camera ish lyke been occupied by my dad and his friends. so i've only gonna keep using this film thing. but i still prefer them. hee, i don't know why.


`once in an annum.

found this in chicken soup of teenage soul 2. had always lyke this certain entry in it. so since i've got lyke nothing to blog. i chose this.


INSIDE


bottled up inside
are the words i never said,
the feelings that i hide,
the lines you never read.


you can see it in my eyes,
read it on my face:
trapped inside are lies
of the past i can't replace.


with memories that linger --
won't seem to go away.
why can't i be happier?
today's a brand-new-day.


yesterdays are over,
even though the hurting's not.
nothing lasts forever,
i must cherish what i've got.


don't take my love for granted,
for soon it will be gone --
all you ever wanted
of the love you thought you'd won.


the hurt i'm feeling now
won't disappear overnight,
but someway, somehow,
everything will turn out all right.


no more wishing for the past.
it wasn't meant to be.
it didn't seem to last,
so i have to set him free.


`those in italic ar my favourite.

sorry guys. just can't seem to think of anything to blog. and i'm lazy!!


`if guilts doesn't conquer you, why bother to defend fer yourself?

i just wanna shout out. i hate people copying my style of language. those should know who they ar. i mean, please. where's yur soul? kkays. if you're close with me, i don't mind at all. but the problem ish. ar you?

hmmm, i've just finish editing my friend's blog. i feel lyke a genius. muacks to myself. anyway, although it's nothing great but it's far enough fer a idiot lyke me in such stuffs. i've got nothing much to blog and in fact i'm real lazy. haa. don't complain. i'll be back tomorrow. i promise.


`should i regret or rejoice?
`i believe if things were meant to be, it'll be.
`haa. kkays. so crappy.
`argh...

argh... i was nearly able to strike off my jacket! hmm, i found this jacket from SEED which cost 36 bucks. expensive? er, nopes. i found it alright, kinda worth it. but guess what. the colour i wanted was only left with X-Large. it's real nice sweet pinkish red in colour. i love it. maybe it's fated. argh...


went orchard fer shopping spree today. guess i'm really into the great singapore sale. i've got my white sandals, a
purple top and my stretty undies. didn't got my g-strings cause i found out i was spending a little over what i had (ck voucher). all those add up to lyke 60 bucks? gonna get back to ck-tangs to get another white and brown top.


ahuh, and under my own expenses i've spend another 50 plus. yeah, and i do really hope i got the right thing. cause i somehow regretted on a particular compartment. shhhh... i guess i should be happy with it.


er... i'm counting. kkays. i saw many nice 3-quarter pants today. guess i'm gonna get a couple of them. yeah, i'm now having a fettish in them. that should be more than enough fer the moment. if i really happen to work again in june. i'll set fer my contact lenses and adidas. and most of all, my samsung phone!! my levis??


`a different look, a gift and a occasion to celebrate.

heloo people, i've just woke up. haa. sorry. i'm kinda a piggy these days. anyway, everyday i'll dream of something. many characters inside. and some complusory ones too. i wonder why. kkay's. next time if i have a fantastic one going on, i'll write in down in words here in my blog. so do tune in. haa.


er, my sister hebe has a new blog up. don't worry i'll support. and this ish fer her.
hey babe. don't call me pink sugar in yur webbie. haa. cos tt's this template title that i have been lazy to change. haa. thanks.


by the way, i need to rush off bathing and tendering up my stuffs cause i need to zoom off enjoying my sake sushi and great singapore sale. so tata and woosh......


`my dreams linger around you and me.

the bouquet of flowers i saw,
white innocent flavour.
the air i breathe,
sweet sense of peach flavour.


smell and colour today,
all so soothing to me.
the past has been put away,
now forwarding fer the future.


the once path we strolled,
the happiness it gave,
the sorrows all forgotten,
the stars i embraced.


a new door i opened,
should i kiss with joys?
a new door awaits,
i'm on my way.


the sun shone in,
burning my every angle of sight.
but i love it,
with this sweet smoothie flavour.

kkays. people. i've got my photos up. er. don't worry. i'll keep adding until the limited space ish all occupied.
hey. by the way, i've also got my comments box up. so please support and comment kkays. (=
you people could also request stuffs.


`i hope you'll be the one.

kkays people. i'm pretty fine today. hee. nothing much happen. just got out with a friend of mine and enjoyed a drink from starbucks. what have i gotta say? lyke the adidas commercial. it's so darn hot. haa. anyway, i've plan out my shopping list fer this saturday. hee. not much fer myself. enjoy while you can people. by the way, the great singapore sale ish starting this friday. so i guess it's time fer u guys to enjoy the discounts. haa. shop, buy, enjoy.


`he's my darling.

i'm tired.
physically tired.
emotionally tired.
mentally tired.
give me some rest.
i need to breathe.
don't bother me.
thanks.

why ish love so unexpected? why can it hurt a thousand peaceful cells? why can it tingles every little mind of yurs? ever imagine what ish the world lyke without it?


yesterday, nothing really happen. but i came over this thought and kept weeping over it. why? me? unsure of it either. it's just a overbearing hurt that came cutting in my heart. alot of things hurt when you expect too much. am i correct? argh... i really wish not to bother but i can't just place in aside.


i'm not a weak girl. i'm just a emotional creature.


`so can someone tell me, what ish love?

got this new template. hope isn't too pink fer you guys. don't worry. i'm not a fanatic in pink. (=

the weather ish really darn hot. don't you guys think so? everyone ish sweating lyke nobody business. can't you see that? haa. went out yesterday, went to tampines mall. it's really far and when i'm there, i feel so awkward. somehow lyke i don't belong there. caught matrix reloaded. not that nice after all. yeah, i think it's uncool after watching the matrix (my own dvd which i didn't care to take a look fer ages). nothing pretty much happening now or at least i won't tell. ask me personally and i'll let ya know in full details. anyway, i'm kinda lazy to blog today. so tata. i promise i'll be back soon. (=


`my life ish filled with surprises. and now i'm smiling towards it. (=

oh my god, i think this ish killing me!! i can't seem to fall asleep. why? i'm yawning lyke nobody's business and yet while tucking to bed, i just can't seem to fall in dreams. argh!! the horoscope stuffs ar really getting me off everything. i don't even know what the shit to do now. maybe i should just not sleep fer the day until tomorrow night and that's the time i'm gonna snore my way through. sounds cool but will i be able to do that? i want to sleep. i want to sleep.


by the way, i realise that sometimes i feel better writing in my diary instead of here. hmmm, maybe because in here i can't talk much. maybe only all those bitching and dissing about my life and the people around me. recently, kinda lazy to blog. maybe there ish nothing happening in my life or there ish a secret in my life? shucks. i don't know anything, don't bother me. i'll tell and shout it loud when the time comes and when finally i'm really very clear of what's going on.


`somehow it's different. somehow there's something lacking.
`somehow it's sufficient. somehow there's a need fer more.
`somehow it's pleasing. somehow there's love.

heloo people, while bathing, i suddenly got this new wishlist. haa. gosh, where's the money gonna come from?

1st on the list - a new adidas shoe that has caught my eye long ago
2 - a maple-leaf-like pattern three quarter pants i found at bugis
3 - a purple t-shirt
4 - a nice white top, let it be tight and girly
5 - a chomel necklace and bracelet
6 - my new samsung phone
7 - long awaiting levis jeans
8 - some biotherm/bodyshop make-up
9 - haversack (wonder shld i get the blood project shop's, love it but it's kinda ex)
10 - sandals, preferred colour white
11 - a jacket/sweatshirt (something lyke adidas's)
12 - a pair of coloured contact lenses
13- something fer someone
14- ahuh, and always not forgotten. a pink polo tee fer any guy friend of mine who dares to wear. haa.

`my dear.

i've been lyke cancelling all my dates recently. i don't really know fer what kind of reason. guess, i just wanted a rest time at home. i've began to feel something real troubling and i know the reason why. but i just couldn't speak my mind this time. usually i'll just start questioning and stuffs to get an answer fer myself, but this time i didn't chose this way. why? i myself don't really know either. scared? confusion? guess i really shouldn't go bother about it. gonna just control it fer the time being. until it gets really worse, i'll make sure i get my own answer. it might not be what i want but i'm sure i'll be pretty fine with either.

`the sweetness it gave. the sorrows it showered. the love i need.

argh... don't bother me fer the moment. leave me alone. these ar some words i'll shout out to those ppl who i don't give a damn about. why start telling me yur tales and shit when you won't ever listen to mine. i'm nt a wonder-woman here. i can't be always there to solve you ppl fcuking problems. finally, all my anger released. gosh, what was i mad about. i myself not being clear here too. kkays. erase that. sorry fer not blogging this few days. i had this very bad mood on monday night and i wasn't really able to express it down in words.

dad dad dad, i also wanna let ya noe. i'm nt a wonder-woman/child. i'm gonna be 17 soon and can't you just stop killing me with yur attitude. why can't you just listen to me fer that moment. why can't you listen? it doesn't mean you ar old and you know everything. i hate my life living up to yur standards. those ar yur dreams not mine. i wanna live my life, grow up the way i wanna. i've listened you yur every words as hard as i could. i myself didn't wanted to fail my english. you always make me sound that i did it on purpose. and money-wise. can't you just stop telling me yur own fairy-tales abt how hard you've got to live in yur oldies world. one day allowance only having 20 cents. face reality my dear, now ish 2003. it's not 1965. those ar the past. i don't wish to blame ya fer anything. i just wanna ya to listen to me and understand me.

lastly, i'm beginning to feel weird about a particular subject. anyway, i might be too sensitive. argh... i won't bother. i won't.

`i don't lyke yur ignorance. i hate lies. beware be4 you speak one.

give me some time kkays. kinda lazy to blog. so bare with me. sorry.

`inspiration stuck.

kkays, i'm beginning to love this template fer no reason. somehow i feel that the stone figure on the top left corner symbolises something. i'm kinda relax today after a tight meal at jack's place fer my mothers' day treat and tata i could only say jack serves the best black pepper steak. btw, HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!

suddenly, i lost track of what to do. haa, at first i wanna keep myself busy but now i'm kinda blur of what should happen next. wah, don't bother. if i happen to forget about any of yur dates or to miss it, forgive me. but to say i really hate it. when i'm free, nobody dates me. but when i'm dated on which ever particular day, just it somehow happens that another one will request me out on the same day. argh... and this ish not the first time. but who cares, as long as i'm here, as long as you ppl need me, call me out. but to remind i'm still cash flow tight. haa. i need a job badly now and even when sch starts.

`u either win or lose in this game.

hmm, i'm idling. actually i wanted to sleep. but i need to update my friend his soccer score. so here i am, still trying to keep myself relax. i'm getting bored. and i don't wanna get stuck into this suitation. cause' it's been past moments, i've got myself worried and thinking fer no reason basically cause i'm bored. so just like what i've said few days ago, it's a total new beginning and so far everything ish going jolly well. i'm starting to keep myself busy all while and yeah most importantly, alot of things don't bring much significance to me now. i mean i'm not as sensitive as i used to be and if anything big/small gonna happen, i'll just sit back and wait and watch. i'm plainly much a white piece of paper. kkays, after reading this, don't complain to me that i'm back to those days. i'm not having a depression now. i'm just stating my change. i'll be as cheerful as i used to be. i'll smile to you. gosh, i think i should cut the crap now. anyway, life to me now ish normal. i'm sleeping, eating, enjoying and relaxing. yeah, although a big amount of slacking at home but i don't wish to do anything now. really i think it's the time my mind should rest well and prepare fer more.

kkays, i've been reading a few blogs recently. and i just wanna comment something here, in my blog. sometimes struggling too much will only make you get totally sick out of something. never go wondering about why things booms here and there, don't ever even make yur dreams haunt you. sometimes somethings ar better to let go den to keep burging on it. believe me. it's gonna be hard, it's never easy but it's the best thing that should be done. that's just basically my advise from my experience. yeah, although it's not a big stack but it's painful enough to bring me into a disaster.

`votre sourire charme
`now i know when to pull the tag or when to let go

btw ppl, i've chose a new template fer my blog. if u see no change, refresh!!

`i control my life. i choose my style. i speak my way.

er, so i didn't blog yesterday did i? sorry, i was too tired to blog and even to write my diary. i woke up at 11am and that's kinda a miracle fer me. haa. anyway, i got up early cause my friend had an assignment early and i was suppose to accompany him after he's duty. yeah, but things dragged and i ended up meeting him at 3. and westmall was totally a boring place. my spirit flew here and there fer an hour. guess i didn't really lyke to shop alone or even out alone. so end of my stupid tale. i took the train and there we went, back to bugis again. haa. twice in a week. but this time we did some shopping around the place. yeah, and he got his favourite green bermudas and a black t-shirt. a total shot fer him. me? i did fancy 1 three-quarter but i didn't bought it. but come to think of it. it's 50% off. why didn't i bought it? haa. maybe next time back there? i'll see to it. after shopping and stuffs, we went to shaw tower once again fer a movie, 'whiteroom'. er, it's not that scary that could make yur goosebumps shoot up. just basically anticipating? anyway, don't catch it, not worth the money. kkays, after all this... gosh, i'm getting abit long winded here. i tink i better stop typing. it's getting bored in here. the rest of the stuffs i guess nobody ish that interested after all so i'll shut fer the time being.

`to fly? to soar? where's yur next destination?

hey babes, i'm back home or let's say i've reach home an hour ago. today i went out to many places. gosh, i think i had something lyke a marathon. a walking one. hee. firstly, i went bugis. and from there i walked to shaw towers fer X-Men 2. it's cool, kinda interesting especially when the show ish filled with mutants with special abilities. all damn powerful and unique in their own way. haa. i know that ish called movie. but it's really nice. after the movie, my friend and i walked to suntec. we fooled around the whole building and started thinking of walking to funan. and then? there we went. but we stop-by at raffles city fer a moment through city-link. nothing much food that caught our pleasure so zoom and boom. we ended up in funan 'the it mall'. looked fer a keyboard my friend was kinda interested in but didn't got it. so we ate at pastamania with my favourite spicy chicken and him the country baked pasta. after a really stuff meal of my breakfast cum lunch cum dinner, we walked towards boat quay. and guess what. on our way there, we saw a shemale and he/she nearly fell. after finding that the sea smelled rather salty there, we walked out way towards esplanade. and while passing by the fullerton hotel, my friend forced me in. haa, i did went in. it's damn nice and class inside. even the toilets ar fantastic relaxing with a big arm chair inside plus so many transparent glassbowls. so long so far, we dragged our way to one fullerton, the one with the merlion there. yeah yeah and blah blah. haa. halfway to esplanade. he decided to go to marina bay, the one opposite where we were looking. so we started walking towards city-link again and tata we reached city hall mart station and then marina bay mrt station. took a bus near the park and starting walking inside. er, the place was not as dark as fort canning park ba. so every step was fine. walk ard saw stars. sat here and there. went to the playground fer swing and then hop in a taxi and went home.

`scary, wonderful, alright

er. later i'm gonna catch the real madrid match. anyway, i'm fine today. nothing much happen cos i'm not out fer any purpose. got up at near to 4 today. hee. gosh, i'm really becoming a piglet. okies. receive a sms from gilbert early morning. i replied him but he didn't seem to reply mine. and i discovered that the sms was sent at 8 plus in the morning. so early.

`whoooosh

what has gone has been gone. i'm not gonna keep myself struggling fer it either. i'm gonna look forward. haa. gosh, what was i thinking? actually things aren't bothering me either. it's just that a few recent people keep reminding me. shhh... i'm alright and in a peace of mind now. now, just push me foward towards a new path i'm gonna crave fer myself.

`hugs and kisses

Daily Horoscope - May 7, 2003
First Name: Melissa Sun Sign: Sagittarius Gender: F

Obstacles that you may have been encountering in attainment of cherished goals could suddenly seem to be melting away, clearing the way for making your dreams come true, Melissa. This could involve physical health, plans for travel and education, and self-expression. You could also be feeling especially passionate at this time, so a romantic evening with that special someone would be especially enjoyable. You're feeling great, so make sure you look your best as well!

Love-Sunny Day/Career-Cloudy/Health-Sunny Day

`so anyone wanna date me out tml? hee.

kkays, after some thought and talks yesterday, my mind suddenly had this struck. today ish a total new beginning. haa. think i'm just a little mood swing. crazy as i've always been. anyway, things ar settled in my mind. hence, everything much as well be fine. be back fer more during the night.

`lalalala~

Daily Horoscope - May 6, 2003
First Name: Melissa Sun Sign: Sagittarius Gender: F

You may have been having a hard time lately reaching the objectives you had set for yourself. Unfortunately for you Melissa, today will be no different, and you may begin to feel a bit dissatisfied with the way your life is going at the moment. You will be asking yourself certain questions about your life goals. Does your personal life live up to those goals, and are you able to express your wonderful creativity as much as you would like?

Love-Thunder/Career-Thunder/Health-Cloudy

`gosh, seems that tml won't be great too.
`so true right? *

Hmm, today i've gone out to celebrate my pal's birthday. i'm so sorry to her that we didn't done much suprising or grand celebration fer her. but i hope she's happy to just hab us to celebrate with her. kkays, other than all of this, i'm kinda tired and not feeling that good. so i'll shall shut my mouth today. sometimes, it's right not to think.

`ger ger, u can't do anything.

Your Daily Horoscope for May 05, 2003

Dear Melissa,
Your spirit is sparkling, Melissa, and you may feel yourself filling up with tremendous energy as you go about your day. Your sense of adventure is at a monthly peak, and there is very little that can get you down. One area of your life that might be slightly difficult for you to deal with right now, though, is your world of love and romance. For some reason, you may feel like this is the one domain in which things aren't going the way you would like them to. The secret is to be patient.

`so ish this true? *

i feel weird, i feel real weird. this shldn't be the way i shld be feeling now. gosh, what am i trying to say? i myself dunno. anyway, horoscope not being quite good fer next week. just hope it gets better. but firstly why am i so into such stuffs? kkays, finally i've got an explanation fer myself. i've realise it's when i feel that nothing ish happening in my life and i wanted to know what will or may happen. kkays, i'm gonna stop the crap fer now. now although i'm getting my allowance soon. but i'm still cash flow tight cause i wanna control myself. maybe fer the moment, i can't get much stuffs fer myself. anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIYAN!!

`eternal hope? star shines?

YOU ARE LANA!


What Castmember Of Smallville Are You?
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The romantic daydreamer. For you, the greatest
thing in life is getting to know perfect love.


Which daydreamer type are you?
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Blue Eyes


What Color Eyes Should You Have?
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-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.


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cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


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er, today ish one of my good sista meiling's birthday. so let's wish her HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! haa. kinda busy today. i woke up reluctanly at 12 plus. then got myself prepared to get to town. went to ck tangs with another good sista of mine qiyan. we shop around and got a heart-shaped necklace and bracelet fer mei. i love the bracelet, it's nice man. haa. to my liking. anyway, i'm still going back to get myself some of these stuffs, since i hab none. kkays. i'm gonna be kinda broke soon. infact by the next outing, i'll be. yeah. i've gone to take neoprint with qiyan. gosh, i think we did many weird poses. haa. yeah, after ther shopping and photo taking, we went cold storage to get our food fer the party celebration at my house. kkays, dishes of the day was soup of the day, spagetti, roast black pepper chicken, vegetables and fer desert ish kaya cake. haa. after the eating with meiling, adeline, qiyan, nic yeo, derek, kenneth, yao guo and han qi, we watched darkness falls. the day was fine, although someone accidentally leaked out the news to mei that we ar celebrating fer her, but i guess she was still pretty happy to see all of us here fer her. (= guess now they ar at another friend's house relaxing. they should be having fun. hee. me? i'm stuck at home to sleep. haa.

`a little warm message might not mean much, u see?

Pink:
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.


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You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.


What Kind of Smile are You?
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You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.


What kind of kiss are you?
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