All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

job offers anybody? mel mel mel can work immediately from 2nd week of may to 3rd week of july.

i can't say anything about not treasuring things you have and taking them fer granted. cos nobody's gonna tear when you're gone.

look into the before.s and you tell me the future. i dunch want to just be another dot in yur story. another one of the many you click upon and say the same thing to the next person.

she can be strong but if you ar here, all she might need ish yur protection.

affected yet saying the truth hurts. sometimes when you can't express yurself, things just go wrong. emotionally it's taxing fer you, yeah i know.

the next thing i need to learn ish that if i wanna keep things to myself just to protect someone else, dunch feel that you have to keep sober to yurself and the whole world owes you fer it.

girls just need assurance constantly, guys need girls to be assured and that's the end of story.

i know the end of the story. the picture came and it's time fer me to acknowledge it.

all i need ish i love you.

i need a transition in life.

baby's all i got.

a responsibility.

looking back, i can't believe he actually said he loves me. hrmp...

3 papers just breeze past with a snap. and the last paper next week.

ain't much of a kick, no joy, no excitment though it's 3/4 over, but i had a long meal with baby yesterday. good moments beside of what he told me last night. just lyke what ade said, it's lyke being truthful but you dunch know if it's in a good or bad way. i tot it was smt that shouldn't have been said at all. it's not affecting me, but hrmp...

i dunch know if it's the time of the month or what, but i'm definitely not feeling good at all today.

VERY HECTIC, VERY OUT OF LUCK.

i totally lost motivation to study last night, blank out and got moody.

got drench on the way to school. THUNDERSTORM.

and mess up my own exam date. my biochem paper happens to be tomorrow and NOT WEDnesday. OH GAWD!

this ish so not a good beginning fer the week. my head ish spinnning now and i have to wake up at 8.30 AM tomorrow to continue what i haven't finish FER TML'S PAPER. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks.

and i have another PAPER the VERY NEXT day. my mind so not prepared and needs rest from all the TENSION. i mugged till 8am last morning and am awake till now after 2 hours of rest ONLY.

it all happens w/o my notice. i would have MISS the paper if baby didn't took notice of my exam dates.

totally stress out.

WHEN DID IT ALL STARTED?

the mugging shouldn't stop no matter where you'll be.

tired but can't fall asleep. i only hope to have a big hug from my dearest so that it wipes away all the negative forces. kiki woke up at 4am and brought me to mac fer breakfast last morning. thankew fer everything. i love you loads and it's not of the 2 bucks, not of the mac breakfast.

*perk me up.

really really lost.

can i have mac breakfast now.

i think i must be a lil nuts. been studying since 11.30 am after sleeping at 5am last night and now i'm going to continue this craziness till another 5am today. caught 7 marketing webcasts today and it's quite dumb to repeat watching them. x2.0 ish kinda way too slow fer me now. i hope there's x2.5 speed. managed to conquer 13 chapters fer now and i'm gonna carrying on with the spirit to the end of the textbook. met my baby fer a short while and it was definitely worth the trip. will post one silly picture when baby sends me tml.

the next thing closest to retail therapy ish masking. the pampering releases all of the stress you have. trust me, try something moisturising, it tinkles to feel good.

on a side note, i'm really missing my boy.

alright, i just splurge on something i think i might regret clicking the button. eee-u. i'm sorry, but that's due to tremendous stress and influence by the hills. gawd.

i really need black/grey skinnies preferbly from river island and a few summer dresses to make me feel pretty again.

awwww. my wardrobe ish just so outdated.

sandy's 21st. there's more, we shall wait.







apparently, they had this one, two, three, four which i had no clue until.





3 yeah.



lsm w/o lingling. so we did 0,0.







oops, i didn't did that on purpose.



there goes, the complete lsm but a few extras.



my seafood platter which i tried hard to finish besides the rice and fries. i think i only had two spoons of rice. not very worth my money, i would rather have blue cheese steak.



with the birthday girl.







tt's all fer now. back to biod and my baby.

i'm quite excited over something.

i've finally managed to finish my urban assignment after having the brain stuck fer 3 nights. it really feels so much better, at least now that i have nothing to stop me from my revision.

will blog with pictures of sandy's 21st on thursday. later on dearies... i've got two bulks of notes to go through fer biodiversity.

i think i didn't mention watching shooter last sat night. since baby took the effort off his really busy schedule, i think i need to be aware of that. (besides the fact that he doesn't frequent the cinema that often in the past, besides his casual dating. oops* hee.) alright, all the best fer yur exams baby and i guess i better start pushing on my very dued urban assignment before i start panicking about the 1 week left fer the major 3 papers coming real soon. you know it's really sweet of him to tell me on monday that we might not be meeting fer weeks, yet unknowningly he's taking quite alot of effort to meet me up. i know when exams strike, i gotta start staring at my wallpaper fer 2 weeks. urgh.

*with lots of love, exclusively kiki's.

if only debbie travis facelift gets shift down to an afternoon timing. awwwwwww...

the other night, i guess it was two nights ago, i was catching one of my favourite talkshow, "kang xi lai le", and there goes the topic about jerks who fools around. it just comes to one conclusion, MOST men have their brains stuck in bwt their 2 balls. ( i think i did mention MOST. it's lyke how biodiversity works, species ar segregated but not all population matches all the above characteristics.) fairy tales do not exist but fer those men cheating on many women, 'yur balls would rot one fine day, beware.'

smiling and giggling to myself. it feels good. memories they tag well, bad occurings ar left behind. there's many things going thru my mind now and when i saw the blog counter went 20002, i suddenly remembered that the baby ish turning 4 soon. awwwwwwwwwwwwww...

http://will-o-thewisp.blogspot.com/2003_04_01_archive.html

4 long years, a 3 years r/s, plenty cherished friendship, lotsa good and bad memoirs i had, quotes others left me, tears that wept along, uhhhhhhh...

this new tune keeps reminding me of kiki under the positive light. and i guess the next thing i'll do after typing, ish to hum along with the tune in this tense-up NUS science library and let the important one know about his presence in my heart.

so long, dearies. my urban seems to be killing me softly.

i had really bad dreams last night, so bad that i was tense up thru-out. unknowningly, i woke up maybe thrice? with everything stagnant, the pillows were all in place, i was grabbing the blankie and comforter tight, dale was still facing me, ang bei bei was still resting. awfully, i hope bad dreams DO NOT come true.

3 webcasts in 3 hours. the power of x2.0. 8 chapters in a night. the power of motivation and discipline. i'm not more hardworking or smarter, i'm just doing what i'm able to complete. another 2 more hours to go before i'm off to bed. convince me about outsmarting.

i know about the melancholic notes lately but do pardon me, there's this unknown fluid in my brain that somehow takes control when the heart pounds slowly. i'll be fine, i'll smile when my bro wakes me up in the morning and unknowningly tells me my importance in his heart, i'll get better when i'm in the arms of my honeybunch with his utmost support, i'll be giggling after meeting sharks, i'll be joyful after exams, i'll be happy after meeting my gfs, i'll be cheerful after meeting my friends, i'll be delightful when hard earn money comes and i'm off to bangkok shopping trip with kiki and his buds. days will go by fast, i just hope i grasp every single precious moment i have.

there ar things i knew i shouldn't step into and yet i started playing the game i can't afford to lose at all. it didn't only happen once or even twice. sometimes i wish i'm just some ignorant bimbo who knows no shit about the evils of the world. look mel, see what have you brought yurself into. and yet you talk about confidence that you know would equates to nothing when emotions over-rule. i know one day, i'll suffer the consequences.

random pictures i edited while i'm bored.

let me count the days. almost 2 weeks.

let me think about the captivation. 10% of what's left.

the girl feels lyke she needs some private space fer awhile. it's not easy and now that she understands the reason why. she will someday, it will someday, but it's just not going to be today. there ar times she's not allowed to choose and times her attention rises. women ar complicated and emotional creatures. slit the throat, act lyke it's the end of the world, play dumb and everything will be fine again. ignore the crap, my mind's spinning with nonsensical thoughts from the heart which couldn't stay much in control. the alpha and beta chains ar not working well together, my cells they stop at G1. we'll panic and think that it's all over. sometimes, i just wish i'll be the first to sleep in peace.

panic if she's missing. we don't play games of hide and seek. there she whispers fer you. maximise the chances you preach.

unexplained commodity. there goes the same story...

a dream ish a wish your heart makes. alone in the night you whisper.

absolutely in love with the lyrics/mood of this song.

maybe whatever he says ish right. no matter how you try to keep things subtle and smooth, it's might be too early and many feelings/things change with time. be it drastically or of any scenerios that comes to yur mind, you can look forward without much anticipation. sometimes it does feel too heavy to worry about saying the wrong things, letting out feelings that leads to a rebound, to be giving w/o any acknowledgement. sometimes, there feels a need of private space, yet it fears that my pull might topple things over. my tears shall not be known but yet it doesn't lead to an empty space. i have my assurance and i just need you to live in it. and there's just one thing i'm sure of this time if whatever fails, i'll still be in love with you.

Heart
by Stars

time can take it's toll on the best of us
look at you, you're growing old so young
traffic lights blink at you in the evening
you tilt your head and turn it to the sun
sometimes the tv is like a lover
singing softly as you fall asleep
you wake up in the morning and it's still there
adding up the things you'll never be

alright, i can say what you want me to
alright, i can do all the things you do
alright, i'll make it all up for you
i'm still in love with you
i'm still in love with you

time can take it's toll on the best of us
look at you, you're growing old so young
traffic lights blink at you in the evening
you tilt your head and turn it to the setting sun
you disembark the latest flight to paradise
you almost turn your ankle in the snow
you fall back into where you started
make up words to songs you used to know

alright, i can say what you want me to
alright, i can do all the things you do
alright, i'll make it all up for you
i'm still in love with you
i'm still in love with you

the hard rock god, he never had a chance, you know
incurable romantics never do
he held a flame i wasn't born to carry
i'll leave the dying young stuff up to you

you get back on the latest flight to paradise
i found out from a note taped to the door
i think i saw your airplane in the sky tonight
through my window lying on the kitchen floor
i want more...
give me more...

Alright I can say what you want me to (I want more)
Alright I can do all the things you do (Give me more)
Alright I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you (I want more)
Alright I can say what you want me to (Give me more)
Alright I can do all the things you do (I want more)
Alright I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you

i'm so tired. i feel lyke crying. to think of 4 hours of sleep and waking up at 7am. i think i'm in need of an oxygen tank.

i really miss my girlfriends, my poly friends and any other equally important friends. everybody wants to meet up but i have no excuse to get out of this evil routine. everyone around me ish mugging real hard and i can't even take time fer one 6.50 movie. freedom after 3rd may!

going to bed with 2 chapters unread. am i too serious with work?

been having really comforting heart to heart chats with my honeybunch lately and it always feels better everytime we listen to each other. that's a nice progression i guess, building up the trust somewhere along the way.

因为

1) 我爱的就是你, 你的好, 不会因为时间的改变, 爱情的不顺而有任何减少.

2) 能让我想起你的点点滴滴和对我无微不至的体贴是一种很幸福的感觉.

3) 你对我的付出真意,而我对你的爱不会飘浮不定.

4) 我会只在你面前很笨，让你惊喜地发现原来在大家眼里冰雪聪明的我也会犯只有你知道的弱智错误.

alright. i'm bad at this. so that's it fer the night.