some photos though my head ish spinning. and my aunt screw up my bowel system.



the girls in my OG.

amazing race today.



3 seniors, 1 freshie. the guy at your right looks exactly lyke train man. aweee. and i can't stop saying he's so cute.



all the smart babes.



and there goes the pretty girls beside me.

i'm sick and i'm back from camp only fer tonight. going through the past two days was a terrible chore. just when fun merely started today, i'm too sick to continue. hai. definitely not my week.

am staring at that big pack i gotta bring to camp. argh! and the amount of big plain tees i have to wear there. eeeks. and most of them ar class tees. aha. will be back on friday safely. oooh, it's long since i had long vacation. and i brought my chip dale towel there to keep me smiling. (=

told alex that i'll be 99% off to my orientation science camp tomorrow. and i guess i know the 1% that's stopping me from going (which i wish and may will not have any chances of robbing dad to send me to LT 27 tml.

if things go well, i'll be missing fer 4 nights.

all the loots lately.



elf loots.



lucidol hair supplies.





loots from the mango sale.






goodies from marks and spencer to keep me happy all day long.



not heels but nauctical peep-toe flats. i lyke!

now i'm big fat broke.

this ish cool reality tv. with all the toot toots. i'll not get it embed in my blog. enjoy maury.

i love my wife but she's a nasty whore. haa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCMBopNApa8

what if yur husband cheated on you with 25 women once in a while. wow. and he claims he's a sex addict. oh my freaking lord. once fer me would be fine but i won't be stupid to accept the mistake fer that many times. no wonder she feels lyke puking. eeeeks. i think i'll need to "si wei" to clear all that infested thoughts if it really happens.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nQH5pdr_z8

wow wow wow. you have 4 kids without even knowing who the heck you got 36 months of torture from?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk5w5w5vNFM&search=maury

if it's yurs, you jolly well take responsibility to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29MCn4K1QIM

you have a good life with a loving husband and yet you dunch appreciate it? what the hell man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csgcfrtaqjM

25 and you have 6 kids from 5 different women? dang. i guess just lyke what maury says, you need a cap on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaVnkZqjacM

does it really matters if i'm seeing someone? does it make you feel more peaceful in mind? lyke i've always said as my age go by, dating ish just another form to get to know a "fresh" opposite sex better. you get to listen to more stories outta your world. you get to know what else one has been through and the much more difference in life. another's perspective and how they see the world as. it's merely part of making more friends with the only difference (you go out in TWOs?). no, there's no physical pinky but just connection between the minds. you learn how to face sedate topics with boring people and you understand how intellectual one can be. it's not the liking of the attention they give you. after much saying, may i not repeat myself again? stop asking if i'm serious with this guy or otherwise. if you ar feeling the tickle, you could just let me know. i'll tell you the truth to make you feel better.

afterall, i dunch think i'm a very interesting person to be with cos whenever they ask

"so what ar you doing now?"
ooooh, i'm waiting fer uni to start.

"urrr, what do you do everyday then if you ar not working?"
i sleep, eat(i dunch think i really eat at home.), play maple with my brother, teebee and hrmp, boring.

"wow, you always go to bed that late. ish there really that much on teebee?"
i guess so. it pretty much keeps me company everyday besides weekends when i'm usually out. (with you) and i've caught golden melody awards lyke over 20 times and i'm still not sick of it?

so now you understand how "un-interesting" i am now? omg, i need colors perhaps the rainbow in my life so badly now.

and yeah, i know many has been commenting about my schedule. i sleep from near 6am to 2pm. apart from saying it's bad to health. i'll change it. some things ar just outta my control.

*can't imagine cabin's gonna wake me up at 10am tml. argh. yeah, we're going shopping. i'm getting my heels and i'll not miss the BIG MANGO SALE which starts TODAY. alright, bimbo. shrugs. and hopefully my new yujin desires.


a set of this.


1 of this will do. perhaps the black one i hope?


and this whole set of tumbler to add to my chip and dale family.

as promised, photos from D BIG GRADUATION DAY!!
with the black roots gone!







yeah! my certificate of merit!



zen, xin, me and basil!



so much fer posing with that suit. i'm off to hit the party.
ken, me and CHEESY cabin!





jingpei and me



cabin. CHEESY! haa.



moses and me.



chilling at holland's V essential brew.



weiqiang, me and jingpei.





yahui and me!

the desserts we had.







my rainbow indulgence. 5 different flavours of cheesecake. you see, good quality of food!

now do you understand what perk me up on thursday?

yea, i'm back! after being mia fer merely 5 days or so? i'm fickled minded and if you're accusing that i love people reading my blog, my life. i think you're damn wrong. cos i've been enjoying blogging fer myself in my very satisfied new blog address. (you can see i've moved the entries here.) if things go well, you would most probably get to know about my faculty orientation and the new friends i'm gonna meet. pray hard fer me alright?

i told alex i was kinda overeacting that day and just lyke how he explains it's as simple when emotions get involved. aha, and regardless the concern he gave, he told me his first impression was "what's the big deal?". i guess the deal ish whereby there ar the lil details that's beneath the surface. i was upset after hearing someone making irresponsible comments just to shoove me off. and what's worst of all, i'm forced to alright! lyke how willing i am to listen to someone rubbing salt on my wound. sorry, the rest would be much more the secret shared between us.

and lyke how yan and moses tells, if you continue to believe in him, you'll end up in pain again. but you see, i trust in him cos i always do.

and how ben tells, if he wants to find excuses, he will. just stop being upset over it.

*do not guess and ASSUME if you haven't heard from me. i hate people who ASSUME and make a big fuss outta it.

i'm pretty happy with the new main pic. it doesn't mean much. i just flip through stock.exchange and mingle them together. was just surprise that all the hearts were at one corner. every single jigsaw gives me this emo feeling so i guess it's churn out the right way.

deleted*

argh, i'm stupid. i wanna be loved.

golden melody saved my life.

guess the number of times i've caught the golden melody awards? all in all, probably more than 20 repeats? but i'm still loving every single bit of the performance. especially with lee hom, that "tai mei" song, ah mei and that bursting milk act. kwute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdHtUCmQOOc

Weeee!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUV0J2UDIM0

WO AI TAI MEI. TAI MEI AI WO!!

it's getting nowhere.

when everyone expects something going on, i couldn't help saying. "urrrrrrr... there's nothing going on though i may a lil wish to."

babarama

i had 3 bananas in 1 night after craving them fer so long. how cool ish that. haa.

stay tuned fer at least a pic from my graduation ceremony. (this ish because i had a good week. but a short weekend.) i'm very satisfied with my new blog address but i haven't really settle things with it yet. so we shall see.

time shall allow fate to flow as it wishes.

and so i realise, everything seems written with my name on top of it. no, i ain't proud of it. but i just gonna say that it's not gonna be a easy memory to forget. and duh, there's no way you can erase the past. what's worst? the future scribbles my name in it too and i'm so sorry it's gonna take years to hope my grafitti fades away.

i dunch wanna leave this place but i guess i have to. with this much amount of quantity, it would definitely still stay. the memories kept and stored just when you want to go through them. be free to do so.

it's near 38 months of emotions. of cos there ar more bottled up inside.

Thursday, June 05, 2003
INSIDE

bottled up inside
are the words i never said,
the feelings that i hide,
the lines you never read.
you can see it in my eyes,
read it on my face:
trapped inside are lies
of the past i can't replace.
with memories that linger --
won't seem to go away.
why can't i be happier?
today's a brand-new-day.
yesterdays are over,
even though the hurting's not.
nothing lasts forever,
i must cherish what i've got.

Friday, May 08, 2003
X-Men 2.

...

it's too heavy to continue. i'm hurt, pretty bad inside. to be stumbled by unfair and unjustified comments. besides saying someone ish never good enough fer me. it has never come to my mind to think that the years was a torture and there was no love in between. this year has been hectic. i've been doing the wrong things, creating sins, behaving in a way i shouldn't be or wouldn't even think twice doing. i went through tears, hardships, bleeds. i've done the craziest things out of my own imagination and everything i do ish just wanting fer more attention and love. and though how silly i know i am, i'm just really good at tormenting myself. i started clubbing becos of stupid reasons. i drown myself with fake smiles which leads to tremendous emptiness at the end of the day. enough fer the confessions and i guess i'm almost done with it.

i'm going mia and till everything gets well. i really hope i will be back on track in a right way (but it seems hard to escape tragedy) not here though. (i hope the decision doesn't change as time goes by) i wanna be somewhere with a more private space and more of a new beginning. i got this bad feeling that ignorance will keep me here.

i'm glad that yan ish awake when i needed help, aik wee to actually entertain me in the early morning and alex fer giving me two missed calls just to check that i'm still doing fine. i'm sorry i couldn't let you know as much as all that's happening. life ish unfair and i dunch understand why i have to go through it twice. i need time to settle what's haunting me and there's absolutely no possibility of doing it ALONE.

i'm drowning myself with morphine while trying to curb down the pain.

so long, good bye.

midnight shopping today. but all i got was my blazer. which was good enough.



everything was so blue today. blue eyelids, blue earrings too.

and soon after we had dinner at this new restuarant outside marina square.





the yuan yang and ice milk tea was good!



the butter "buo lou bao" was good too!



baked rice with pork chop.
cheese was sufficent. but it was too western style. the one at east coast rd was so much better.





beef hor fun was not even hong kee's style. and it's tooooooooooooooooooo salty! mum ate till she was fed up.



spicy pork with preserved vegetables congee.
stupid congee. it wasn't even thick and creamy. it's just lyke porridge with "bak ting (pork cubes)". they actually serve us canfood. gawd.

23rd May 2006



my favourite "ma la huo guo" with my "favourite beloved". (past tense)

tcc desserts i had quite a long time ago with cabin and zen.



green apple +++ hrmp...



cabin's mocha + oreo.



oreo cheesecake.



mine. see that chocolate oozing out. yummy~



wedges.

09 Jun, Fri, 22:18:07
Google: "melissa lee huay er" site:blogspot.com

who googled this? you know my full name and yet not my blog address? gawd.

as much as you know how much you belong to each other. life does not allow it to such simplicity. as much as you know how much you used to cherish each other. nothing much lasts forever. i guess i've just gotta continue to learn to let go what i've held on fer so long. it's been months and i'm still not very used to it. been caught in that tag and pull and i realise it's the both of us hurting each other all the time. love ish really complicated and i've made it worst. or perhaps my expectations has gotten us all tire out, torn and tattered. i guess he's doing the right thing as fer now. memories should be kept just where they should be. it's time i should stop the jumbling and let him end the story. fcuk, i'm really good in tormenting myself. i still need my hug. owwwww, pity me and give me a hug. sobs.

this blog might be going a lil private. moving? a pity it ain't lyke blogsome or livejournal whereby i could lock up some personal entries but then again it defeats the purpose of blogging. people has been relying on this blog to secretly find out what i've been up to and ignoring direct communications with me. and so does this blog seems useful to you now? urrrrrrrrrr... however, i might be taking away this privilege. arrangements shall be done. though i'm starting to miss it.

girls cry when they fall in love, they cry when they ar in love, they cry when they fall out of love and they continue crying when they think about love.

...

girls ar emo creatures. they ar crazy, they think too much and they can't possibly sleep and forget everything.

i've been feeling the stress. studies and love. the two vital elements of my life. what i want, what i need and what i can have contradicts everything. ignore me and i'm not interested in entertaining as fer now. don't assume things. i dunch want to repeat myself now. do not disturb. i just need a hug, the one i had when everything was so messed up and low.

chinese songs ar really emo. that's so true. unconsciously i've been humming one in every single dream.

i've been up fer 3 consecutive mornings. it's of no wonder i'll sway even while i walk. but all the laughter and memories keeps me smiling and humming melodies while fall asleep. i love the way every time the morning ends. though first it started of with a rough joke but it's getting better every single time. and i feel so much in touch. awe. the picture of the alley with birds chirping just could not get out of the mind.

if you wanna get home fast, try boarding a cab at 5.50 am. but that ish definite if you dunch mind paying fer midnight fare. the driver would jam his accelerator hard enough to get thru as much distance till 6 am and it's not gonna be a safe ride though there's always "speeding kills" signs all around the expressway. awe, so much fer walking (i have blisters now and this shows how dependent i'm with my brikenstocks) and chatting. i need so much of that beauty sleep now. everything seems to be robbing now when the stupid aunt ish gonna come on the visit. oooh, and rocher beancurd was really good with that image of everything single unique detail in that memory lane shot. another great and fulfilled weekend.

and yeah, i do not understand why others keep asking... "when ish yur school starting?" when they have already sms me the same question more than twice. omfg. if you want to strike a conversation, just spend 15 cents more and give me a call. i'll jolly well entertain you. stop wasting my 5 cents fer sucha meaningless question. not as though me getting into uni would make any difference to you cos it has been years since you last contacted me. and i absolutely hate it when i bother to repeat my answer, you go mia next. argh! irritating bastard.

awake awaiting fer the hair. sobs, i want my fringe back so badly. if they do not grow the inch before camp starts, i'm quiting orientation. bleah. and so the saturday would be most likely spend at home with early marketing done and steamboat fer the rest of the day. unless of cos, ah hem** clears throat.

i need my kimchi lots. my taiwan loots to come. my picture whoring with gfs. and my beloved. (eh, who? must be dreaming.) to think about it, i think it's time to get the wardobe pack with clothes fer school. i miss my long hair. awe...

argh, i can't believe i didn't caught project runway today. sobs. and i miss it intentionally. omg. curse me. and the serious fact ish "melissa can never drink. she gets dizzy so easily and she hates it!"





and so she dazes around her block before daddy comes and pick her up (nah, daddy was waiting above fer her to get home and he's still angry with the dent on the door). so much fer the red cheeks. awe...

as much as i see things happening, i feel awkward with it and it tells me something similar and fishy ish going on and let's hope it's not the case. i dunch wanna be emotionally attached to one fer now.