Stuck

I cant get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just cant seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging on a string
Why you make me cry
I tried to give u everything
But you just give lies
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

Now love's a broken record
That's been skippin' in my head
I keep singing Yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

I aint trippin
I'm just missin you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinkin of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin of you
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck on you

busy busy busy. tt's what all ish in my mind. physio test, IT test, cell bio test, still got? organic and biological chemistry. what's more to come? my IS online test. and and and, my very repeat o's english. and what kinda of cca can i take? none. none that suits my timing, none that suits me.

It has been some time since i last blog. Hmmm, being busy at times. I wasn't as usual slacking at home during this weekend.

Sat
Went out with darling to Sim Lim Square. He got me my laptop protector. It's quite costly. Really need to thank him. This is the first time i recieve a gift from him. So delighted. Yeah, and it's the first time i ever been to his house. Normally his mother will be guarding his cave. But Saturday, his family went fer NDP preview which of cos' i missed. Hence, i'm able to make my visit there. Saturday was really kinda special. We went to Chinatown to actually have our dinner. Just at the roadside stall. So sweet right. Although the porridge was so called popular but it isn't as delicious as the one at Maxwell. Had a tight and nice meal and walk around Chinatown. With the mrt, everything seems so convinient. Really nice atmosphere going on there. No longer the old streets. The new "China" flavour around the whole place.

Sun
I went out with him again. This time to esplanade library to do my tutorial and revision.

Got some photos uploaded. Check if you're interested. In the digital images folder.

Outing To Town.

We didn't really have much pics that ar nice to show. All just kinda fer us the laugh our teeth out. Right yan.

My eyelids so heavy. I'm feeling real tired now. Wanna get to bed soon. Today i had many ups and downs. Maybe it's somehow related. Sometimes people over-see the true side of it. Is it really important that everything should be the opposite to actually balanced? I really doubt it so. It's the same time of life again that i'm been senstive and really pulled off over matters. Once again, the terror ish coming back. And Shunfoong, i'm not actually blessed yet. I can sniff the strong carbon monoxide in my own atmosphere, some sort there to kill me slowly. Eating my haemoglobins up and poisoning every breathe i take. I think it's time fer me to take a break from everything i could really let go off. Sometimes it's good just to leave yurself alone all stuck up in a small corner of yur room. At least you know mentally, you'll be safe there.

If i were to be missing,
Where would i be?
If i were to be crying,
Who will be there?
If i were to be dying,
Who would actually care?

Today, i went out with yan. Last minute decision. Went town of cos'. Nothing much to buy. Actually did saw this jumpers' skirt and 3/4 pants that's nice. But nah, i don't have such money to waste. Blog continues tomorrow, i hope.

To My Special Friends

To my special friends,
who captured my heart,
just when i lost everything,
and was about to fall apart.

Everytime a problem comes along,
it seems you people will always be there.
I never would have made it,
without the friendship we share.

Unspoken

Melodies of love, old and slow.
llumination from only a candle glow.
I spot you then from the corner of my eye,
The most brilliant star in all the sky.

I wish to reach across all space,
To take your hand, feel your embrace.
The love songs make me sway in time,
And wish so much that you were here.

I imagine you there in front of me,
And can see you most vividly.
Around my waist your hand is placed,
Your other hand in mine, softly interlaced.

And the part that makes me want to cry,
Is just looking up into your blue eyes,
Being lost in your gaze is such a beautiful way.

To say all the things we never could say,
So the tears are not those of pain,
Just an outpouring of true love's rain.
How clearly I envision looking up at you,
Feeling you holding me while I do.
I long for that feeling unspoken we share.
We are truly blessed with love that is rare.

`Fer ya darling.

Unscientific Answers

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.
Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's Love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's Love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's Love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love.
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it's Love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love.

Got This From Mei's Email.

Everything on my mind now ish work work work. Hee. Actually i'm not really sure if i'm coping well with my studies. Guess results gonna show during my common test. I might flunk my cell biology. But not a bother, i'll try my best. Give it the shot. Hope i can get help from my classmates.

Why I Love You?

Everytime I think about you,
I'm go through all the reasons.
Why this love comes from depth in my heart and soul?
And I wonder what I'd do without you,
Without your healing smile,
Your words of faith,
The caring and sensitive way touch from you,
Lifting me up whenever I need it most.
You're the one of minimal who ever accepted me for who I am.
Thanks fer the love you gave.

Both of us ar just lyke part of a jigsaw puzzles.
I'll fill up yur jagged edges and you'll fill out mine.
Although it's still a long way to go,
I believe your love fer me will push me along the way.
Time will pull us apart but who cares?
As long as you ar here and I'll be there,
Our love will shower us all the sweetness we need.

I'm so sorry people. I can't really give you my 100% (full attention). I'm now kinda tied up by school work and activities. I'm always spending my time in school or doing my tutorials or even sleeping(zZzz...). School ish gonna stay this hectic and maybe even more. So pardon me if i'm not around. But as i promised i'll try to give ya all the time you need from me. Especially my darling, don't worry if i'm busy. I'll always give my time to you.

Thanks fer all that compliments you peolple gave to my blog. At least i know someone ish watching and reading about my life. Muacks to all of my sistas and friends.

added a musical touch to it. i'm still searching and learning more stuffs to add here. hope i'll make it more enhanced.

Oh my god, my ass is darn numb now. After all the pressure exterted on it while sitting on the floor with my notebook on my lap. I've change my blogskin. I don't really know whether it's nice anot. Maybe a little different. I suppose i'm gonna add some new stuffs inside. Just trying out. I'm quite a com idiot after all.

Thursday ish gonna be one day i would really hate. With those Is classes i need to take. Argh, such a terror. I'm killed in boredom by this two lecturers and a dead class. Plus classes start at 1. It turns me into a real squirrel comforting myself to bed until 11 plus. And i get real lazy, i don't even bother to dress up. Haa. Today i just slipped into my jeans and t-shirt and just flew off to school. I look so sloppy. Hee. I had tons of dreams last night and even until morning. During my very first dream, i cried myself awake. It was quite a realistic scenerio after all. To only recall that it was the last part my mum kept throwing my things down the window. And i was darn sad and weeping. Until i make a loud weep awake. It was only 6 plus in the early morning then. So i hide myself under my pillow and went back to bed. Dreams keep conquering my mind again.


I'm really tired and exhausted this week. For no reason. For no reason. I feel lyke stuffing myself in bed and forget everything.

Hmmm, I just reach home not long ago. Had a short day in school today. Do i look lyke someone who will give a tattoo on my skin? Oh my god, my classmates thought i had a tattoo. Anyway, i went out today with my darling. It ish only wednesdays that we could really spend much time together. Caught this "Truth Or Dare" movie at ps. Overall not bad. All about youth stuffs. Love, friends and family. The only thing that ish different was they were kinda mixed. Boys and gers. You can't really see this sight in Singapore. There's no bunch of gers lving with another bunch of guys. And they ar only friends.


Khairomi contact me today and told me about his quiting of JI and into laselle SIA. Really shocks me alot fer someone to actually be willing to get a diploma in music. Although i don't object, but i still believe all these stuffs ar kinda on-going and will continue a lifetime. It's not just a matter of a period of years and you end off the best. Talents lyke this needs lots of recognition to actually survive in the community. Fer someone lyke me with musical genes, but never will cross the mind of feeding myself fer the rest of my life under such situations. I still wanna wish him all the best. And hope he makes everyone proud. Something so artistic and daring. Admire his guts.

Wow, it has been a tiring day ahead. I'm so burn out that i can't force myself to lift up my fingers. Even lazier to remove my nail polish. My back still aches lyke mad now plus my neck being stiff and strained. After a full 2 hours of total dreamland, i'm still glazing halfway. My dreams kept pouring into my pure mind. Just can't seem to wake up of it. Dreamt of many silly things. My thoughts really gave out of control. Soon, i'll go mugging in my biology revision. So take care all peeps.


Message Fer Tomorrow







To my beloved darling, Happy Two Months Together! Our route may seem still short but i'm sure we'll widen our map wide ahead. I love ya lots and i'm sure you'll be the same too.

Soccer


What is this sport all about? Is it some kind of organization game where men run around chasing the white ball or one innovative activity where it all started out in ancient times with just something round? My craze for viewing soccer started out all because of the World Cup 2002. I have to admit it isn't such an interesting game to catch but to think of being able to capture my favourite star player sweating himself out in the field makes me especially excited.


As continued tomorrow... or later part of this month.

suddenly i realise the beauty of diamonds. why girls love them so much and would fight their ends to get hold of one. it's pretty amazing. imagine a guy would to kneel down and give ya flowers. and hiding inside this bouquet of flowers, something keeps glimmering and hurting yur eye. A DIAMOND RING! although i don't expect my future partner of my life to spend such money but it's many times that the temptation remains. hee.







Diamond. A amazing piece of carbon!

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're totally content. Yeah everyone has their
bad days but you don't have many...either that
or you hide it. You help the funny girls make
the world go round


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

listening to michelle branch - here with me once again. still using my laptop. i've been on it the whole day. shucks. maybe i should let it rest. haa. i actually decided to rest fer the night until my friend gave me a call and request help from me. i then lay my hands on this poor keyboard and started typing and typing again. gosh, i've to like bring this heavy thingy to school tomorrow and my lab coat. i hate that hp bag. haa. seems so "cheena". guess i just have no choice. school ish just simply tasteless. it's really up to me to add spices to it. no hunks really. haa. the only one i've seen was in the library. he ish really darn cool and simple with his polo tees & nice features. just can't leave my eyes off him. eee, i sound so preverted. but he ish really that attractive. saw willy lau on friday when i'm out with adeline at heeren. he ish also another hunk. his only disadvantage was the height. adeline end up crazier fer him. nonetheless, nobody could be compared in my heart to my beloved darling and yowei.

here i am. i'm early today! in this glazing morning. i woke up lyke 7am. so damn early right? all thank to my handphone. anyway, i don't mind. since i need to wake up at 6 plus tomorrow. hmmm, weekends sun seems to rise so darn early. i'm now blogging through my new lappy. although not a fabulous one. but it's my little treasure. simple and nice. good enough and sufficient fer me. school ish building up. i haven't started reading my biology stuffs. i guess i better stop playing and get my work done. hee.

hmmm, being kinda lazy to blog. hee, just tired after schooling. although not much stuffs starting yet, but everything ish tiring cos' it has been quite some time since i last exercise my brain cells. everything gonna be quite tedious in a few coming months. my oral exams ar coming soon. and the idea of facing those devil-looking invigilator kinda frightens off my every hair-line. gosh, gotta start reading up. burshing up. i'm most probably choosing a musical cca. something more artistic, more evangeline. classmates ar not bad. not considering the fact that it's poly life. i've tried to tied down myself to those highly active character ish class now. i hope i did. haa. but maybe i should try and get everyone working together. or maybe i should not. it'll depends all on the way i'm gonna evaluate things. so long so far, life ish going pretty well with my pretty babe.


`friends, if i happen not to contact ya too often.

`don't blame me. i'm just tired and forget-ful.

Seems lyke it's just yesterday, I drag my feet to school in the early morning. However, this time without my uniform attire. A total different feeling. On my foot, not converse but adidas. i wasn't really gonna expect alot. just hope that this could be a good start. really hate to think of regretting again. sleeping gonna be my forte once again.


class? overall, alright. the people were easy to hang along with. but still need a long time fer everyone to clique together. notes ish the vital elements of my poly life. just only the first day and i got this two big bulks of notes. today woke up real early fer lessons at 8. school ended at 4. sounds huge? nah, i've this 3 hours break in between. so it ain't much after all. after all the school school school, went over clementi to meet my darling. kinda long since we've last met? kkays, 3 days? not long enough ar. haa. that's all fer the day.


`money money money.

school ish starting soon. infact after a night rest. argh, i'm starting to feel that impact of it. gosh, gonna start studying again. my time table really sucks in total. breaks ar now a disaster fer me. not time to relax but time to slack and idle. really miss secondary school life. so nostalgic about those years.

today, went to east coast park. last minute decision of mine. got there quite late. but i made full use of my digital cams. i was lyke crazy taking pictures here and there. just can't miss every single moment. the weather wasn't really plan fer us. we went cycling in quite late hours. got ourselves all dirty and wet. this ish the ever first time i've got myself dirty without even touching the ground. argh, i'm now all strained and tired. but i'm still up at this wee hours of mine. i wonder what ar the rest of the group doing there now. shouldn't have came home. tried to get home early fer a shitty reason. and i'm getting this all in a return. photos uploading ish really taking up a hell lot of time especially when yahoo goes haywire again. feeling kinda sick now. everything just don't go too well fer me. but i won't bother. will never. i'll be shutting my eyes soon. walking on streets with blindfolded eyes. don't bother about my matters too. it makes me more sickening if you stop so. guess i'm not really speaking with the right sense of mind now. i might regret bullshitting so much tommorrow when i'm awake. but i do not fcuking care.


`senstivity.

feeling - chill, cold, winter
listening to the sorrows lead out from my heart


it's time again,

everything goes haywire.

life ain't as peaceful as you wish so.

rainbows not glimmering eventhough they need so.


the clock ticks.

dreams ar calling me back,

into their world of darkness and pain.

nightmares haunting my own life.

ish this what i suppose to go thru,

again?

feeling - blues, calm, up and downs.
listening to mikaila - emotional


my mood going high and low this whole week. and when it's low, it's really sinking. yesterday everything got in a terrible state, can't manage to locate my own soul. but thanks to him. he held me up and pulled everything back. it's the very first time i felt so strong towards his actions and speech. without knowing, i embraced myself to him. fer his protection and care. lyke a small child weeping fer some sense of security. i'm glad he ish beside me giving me the ever-loving warmth i need. i don't wanna sound mushy here. but this ish me.


`but will i be too much a burden fer him?

waiting now. going out to cycle soon. people will wonder why, cycle in the middle of the night? ar you crazy? haven't you seen this jogging lady been sexually abused? don't worry fer me. i'm with someone who can protect me well. don't doubt, but i'm living fine now. just hasn't really got my mood put up fer my school opening next week. can't accept the fact that seven pity months has gone.

new photos posted up. take a look if you're interested. by the way, today i got to np. taken my ez-link card and my pe tees and shorts. went to bugis and got my muji stationary. tiring. will blog tomorrow.

Daily Horoscope - July 2, 2003


Successes with your work continue to bring good fortune your way, and today you might find reassurance that this is not a flash in the pan - you're likely to be financially secure for a long time. Health-wise, you're probably feeling strong and robust, full of energy and stamina, and ready to take on just about any challenge you can find. Move on ahead, Melissa, but move with caution. You're never too prosperous to be careful.


`hope it ish true. omg.

got some new pics loaded up. check them out!