had my 2nd last paper, took a very very light nap, mistook my ringtone as email alert, went cathay and caught glastonbury with alex. my favourite part ish this old man talking about how pity the society works and how love, bonds, friendships ar brought along during the festival. the rest ish the interesting contemporary social history that the film delivers.

The first years of love and peace, followed by the travellers' convoys, the gradual growth of the corporate influence and the era of the all-encompassing wall chart our own memories of the festival through more than three decades.

i'm a very blessed girl fer today. after falling asleep fer only 45 mins, i woke up in shock and thought why the hell the 5 alarm clocks didn't wake me up and then i realise i was still 40 mins before time and my handphone ish in silent mode! just imagine that the alarm rings in silent, no one wakes me up and i miss my genetics exam. scary...

6 more hours and that's the end of my 2nd last paper. yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. i never ever feel so good after exams before. slept at 7am on monday and off my own limits 8am last morning. yadaaaa... freedom ish coming the way.

not absolutely done with all the preparations but it's gonna be 2 hours of rest and off fer organic chem paper. i wish all my friends luck and ME too. though i've spent a week just mugging fer this paper, it feels lyke i'm holding nothing much. not much memorisation and just simply understanding that CM thick of textbook. i hope, i hope, i'll pass. it definitely didn't felt that friday was 5 hours ago and today ish saturday. i wanna party...

i just dreamt of recieving a sms from someone important saying "i'm distant." i wonder if it meant something.

addicted to this tune now. so it's just a temporary change of music. reminds me of MOS and that night. argh, lovely... look at the MV, sexy. the big difference they dance along with the music. you'll never see such views in local clubs. oh my oh my...

this silly girl, slept fer only 2 hours, left the house without her seat number fer her first paper, luckily recieved help from a smart officer who at least knows how to navigate with ease, storm past the track field and basketball court, late and got cheated by her tutor that the first part of the paper was going to be easy, very satisfied with her second part of her paper; the essay, got lunch fer her brother + her, shivering back home under the rain, love her red salvatore ferragamo umbrella though it's just a gift, won bids fer 2 vintage dresses, sleepy and left with 18 hours fer her major paper, ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. @!$!#$#@%! 900 pages of reactions, mechanisms, reagents, conditions and never-ending questions from her 6cm thick guidebook, dang* so long...

1st paper tomorrow and since it's a S/U, i just need a pass. alright. organic chemistry on SAT. pusheee...

munching pineapples and still left with 1 more chapter to go. dots. was happily watching mute project runway just now. daddy should get my tv fix asap. alright, pg 873 and on the way... hate the buses, motorcycles and birds. reminds me that there's not much time left.

the first chinese sms i've typed and this probably tells how frustrated i am. ORGANIC CHEMISTRY SUCKS! cos half of the text book seems lyke it's printed in arabic language. me ain't understand no shit from it.

and it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking bored studying sucha boring module in the middle of the night ALONE! i wanna have someone to talk to or someone to cuddle on and off. so darn bored. so darn bored!! and please stop telling me organic chemistry ish easy. cos it ish not to me and if i can score a C, i'll be more than happy. yeah, i'm dumb? so? wanna fight hur?

how miserable? the only motivation to continue studying ish the fear of repeating this module next semester. cos if it's really gonna happen, bye bye NUS. i'll rather quit school.

this ish definitely worst than immunology. ma chemistry sucks la. the subject sucks. the ahem sucks too. and if you guys didn't knew, i've flunk almost every single chemistry test the whole of secondary 3. blargh. evil.

miss my bidding time thanks to ma stupid dog who kept barking non-stop the whole morning. blargh.

i should stop staying at home. i seem to be spending more than ever when i'm stuck with 2 laptops. oh dear.

i wanna go on a holiday. daddy, send me to cebu.

i just can't seem, can't seem to concentrate studying. maybe because organic chemistry sucks. or maybe because my heart can't seem to focus.

Just like a star across my sky,

Just like an angel off the page,

You have appeared to my life,

Feel like I'll never be the same,

Just like a song in my heart,

Just like oil on my hands,

Oh.. I do love you.

i really thought i was doing really fine. do note really* until some insensitive friend came and dump me with everything again. laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

the bad thing about staying home almost every single day to mug ish that you never know that yur phone connection went haywire two days ago and you assumed that no one contacted you. and dang* here comes the 2 days of unreachable smses and calls. i'm so sorry fer that. hopefully it didn't affected that VIP.

alright, the sun ish rising, the birds ar chirping. i need to go to bed. what a wrong hour.

chase johnson ish sooooo hot. too bad he ish a lil short but who cares.

when did i start loving band music, maybe it's his* influence.

you only commit only when you know it's worth it.

i'm sorry that i was the wrong guy.

i'm so addicted with dresses now. been looking through everywhere i can, especially ebay.com. hope i'll purchase at least a few fer this coming december. ohhhhhh, it's sucha holiday season. can't wait fer 4th december to be over! and then i'll have my cousin's wedding, big renovation fer my room, my shopping trips with gfs, chilling around, dating season, my birthday! 19th december alright. though i just want a simple dinner with ma love ones but i dunch mind a whole week of celebration, clubbing with the right music and company, friend's social night, christmas, and waaa laaa, new year~ who cares about results being release and another new round of module selection + terrible bidding. bleah.

i'm in this with you, i dunch want to screw up.

alex and raquel ar lovers in reality! awwww, sweet.

"there ar plenty of guys out there."

"i wanna miss him."

caught SAW 3 at the same old SHAW centre today. yan got me free preview again. it's darn gross this time round but it's just the same usual SAW w/o much new kick (i meant the storyline). felt that everything was too synchronise to suit the past two. it's lyke we already know how the game goes and how the rules should abide them with just the change of scenery.

kwute.

we dunch need yur money, we just need yur support.

www.lightamillioncandles.com

go support yeah?

i'll smack yur arse if you keep saying that i'm not studying hard enough. my last CA starts in 3 hours time and i'm going fer a 1hour nap now. i doubt there's going to be any when the whole stretch of exam dates starts.

i'm going to bed now. before midnight! it feels so weird though.

*some of my friends ar unhappy the way things ar now and soon, they'll get fed-up with me. but i can only say that if it wasn't meant to be in the first place, the time would come to let go of it.

if you're on my msn list, you would have known how fed-up i am with school. it's not easy to stay up till near 6 am and need 5 alarms to wake you up every single day. it's so irritating. i just want my rest and time. why ish there still school even when exams ar lyke next week? idiot. rubbish.

this ish stupid and it's gonna last till 4 december. maybe i'll die outta breath.

i didn't knew flu panadol work so well. been sleeping ever since and i still wanna stay in bed. sobs. i hate having sore throat and i want cuddles.

another night fer the taxi driver to earn my 17 bucks.

still thinking about it. good friends. boring girl.

1.07.35 2.26am

vivo with mum today was good! shopping around, forgetting things, nice light meal at asian kitchen with awful xiao long bao, new bag!, got my overdued stock and many other products from sasa.

the hair ish going to be awfully short tomorrow. it's been near 5 months since the last hair cut. how miserable. anyway, i'm bringing gf around to shop tommorow and it's gonna be the last day of enjoyment before the battle starts.

outshine by glitz.

if shopping makes me happy, i should be a darn happy girl right? minus off the fact that i'm not going bangkok anymore.



all the beauty products. from japan, korea, taiwan and malaysia! dang, another huge bomb.



dress from asos. love it. and hope it arrives just in time fer cousin's wedding dinner during december.



i lost it. and i need one to replace both of them.



finally, a electric blue top i need dearly.



my best buy today at vivo! love it, love it! no, it's not bimbo pink alright. it's misty RED.

i'm suspecting that i'm very in love with red, blue, white and grey these days.

last friday at zouk.



and you should know, my beloved gf. ade...





the girls at the urm, party?





as usual.

091106 (wed) - 12.53am 1h02min 1.55am

^ says:
u sound sad..u alright?

^ says:
dunno..uve been down lately..see u in lecture and al..so sad

medio melodi-chic mel says:
you mean i look sad. uh. tt's a bad sign.

^ says:
u look sad as in not all the time la..but during lecture when i glance ard..u look sad..

maybe within and around. he knows i'm not feeling good but he's helpless over it. would you tell the one who broke yur heart that you're sad and miserable and all you need ish just him around?

it's the memories that holds on and makes you think about it 24/7. the key, it's lost, it's not even yurs in the first place. you weep, you cry yur heart out but nothing ish gonna change and if he asks you, ar you doing fine? what ar you gonna say? or what can you possibly say? that you repeat what he has plan fer you, "i have no other choices but to live with it."

the memos aren't making things better. maybe i should bang the head and go back to 19 years w/o you? missing a few green man signs, idle at the corner and think about the day he once said, "i love you too." tell yur friends that you ar getting a lil better but was everything just on the surface? bouncing around and waiting fer the horoscope to say, "hey, tomorrow gonna be a good day."

emo. and then there comes again with his words of wisdom "but emotions ar meant to be uncontrollable, that's the way it ish." into yur mind.

everything above is jumbled, it's boring and dunch waste yur time reading it.

tell me about 8 am lecture tomorrow again? and so in total that's 4 stats lectures in a row i've skipped ever since. and perhaps 80% of stats lectures i've missed fer this whole semester.

- says:
????????????...
- says:
??... ??????????
- says:
????????????, ??????
- says:
????????
- says:
???????, ????, ????
- says:
??????
- says:
?????

and i guess he doesn't understand a single word.

when you ar clueless, all these ar a lil useless to shut yur mind.

taken from : http://www.beinggirl.com.sg/yourmind/hismind5.php

He says: "I'll call you."
He means: Tricky one this. In some cases he will actually mean he's going to call you however, sometimes this one means the exact opposite. He could be giving you the brush off but just can't think of a more original way to do the deed. Only way to tell if he says what he means on this one is...if he calls you or not!

and so it means, you will always end up waiting.

He says: "I love you..."
He means: He loves you, right now. Guys aren't as good at girls at playing emotional games so if he says the 'L' word, there's a good chance he means it. He might not mean forever but when he's in the moment, he really means he's got very strong feelings for you. Aw, bless!

yeah, and how short can it be. 1 week i say.

He says: 'It's not you , it's me..."
He means: Uh oh, not this old line. When a guy trots this one out, it means he doesn't want to go out with you anymore, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the real reason. It may not be original but at least he's trying to spare your feelings. The jerk.

maybe i should ought to listen to the friends. he's the first and the only one.

away with 1 project (i hope those kiasu freaks doesn't try to squeeze 2000 words into 1 powerpoint slide.), lab report dued on tomorrow, panadol flu ish the worst tablet i've ever forced through my throat, i want hugs to make me feel better. i'm sucha baby. time to sleep and sober.

busy day at school. and half of the time i was alone mugging. alone at heart i meant. rush off to swissotel fer cousin's wedding dinner tasting. a good meal after almost starving fer so many days. still stuck and sick, the long chilly night adds on to make matters worst.

whatever happens, he'll still be the one that calms me down and it has been since a long long time.

falling sick at this moment of time isn't the best thing that could ever happen. weak and makes me even weaker.

i think i'm pretty bad. i need someone attached to take care of me when i'm sick.

051106 - 11.48pm 1h24min 1.02am

061106 - 10.51pm 1h25min 12.26am

it continues every few minutes. on and off, on and off. makes me mentally tired.

he keeps me happy and i keep myself sober.

2 nights of free clubbing. sober nights. wasted in momo tonight. weeping and calling fer help. ridiculous.

Only this moment
Holds us together
Close to perfection
Nothing else out there
No one to guide us
Lost in our senses
Deep down inside
I know our love will die

Only this moment
Holds us together
Lost in confusion
Feelings are out there
Scared of devotion
Doubting intentions
Deep down inside I know our love will die

Forces within me mix reason with lust, but
I'll try to accept it and not make it worse
'cause I know I might loose it by taking the chance,
(But) love without pain isn't really romance

the rest of the song ish vague.

it's just a bad year and it's not getting anywhere better. i guess i wasn't too sensitive after all. the first time, someone said if you want something badly, you should grab hold of it. the second time, someone said there has been issues and you gotta be patient to help get over it. the third time, someone said there were times with hints but you chose to hold on. i held on cos i couldn't let go and if i could, i would have done it with a breeze.

the first time strolling the path home and up. sadly, it's also the last.

yan says that i'm too sensitive. yesh, i maybe. but adel ish gonna agree with my feelings. and that points me out to 1 simple point. i'm pretty insecure. *i'm clueless.

http://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~u0603110/Project
complete this baby in less than 24 hours non-stop. i'm so drained off. where's my oxygen.