i'm feeling real bad now. i wanna cry but i can't. why? i'm so force to a corner and my feelings ar all kept within.. dad ish at home now and i can't do anything. going out ish a crime, staying home ish a torture. nobody understands this confusion going on in my heart and most importantly he don't. why? why after all the things he have said, he does nothing. at least nothing to prove his heart. sometimes i just wanna tell him that there's no use of reprimanding himself when he knows something ish wrong. i hope he ish able to learn ways to change to situation. i always love to ask myself. am i asking too much? do i complete my own part? maybe love ish selfish. especially when a couple starts quarrelling. all those stupid blabbering noises began. you never know how words can hurt until this time. it cuts deep into yur heart and it bleeds. breathing ish such a difficulty. reading a love novel ish as easy but handling one ish never...

i hate holidays man! all thanks to dad. i'm not allowed to work. i'm questioned if i spend my own allowance. i'm lyke so totally grounded everytime he ish back home. with that stupid door opened fer him, i hear him asking about this and that. so demanding, forever lyke this. got a darker colour fer my hair and yet he starts blabbering about it again and again. why can't i keep my hair long? crazy! would someone's dad go round and round bothering about their daughter own hairstyle? it's my own problem... he keeps asking me to do something to my hair. "cut it cut it!" that's what he'll say. sick and tired of it. i hear this everytime... i want my hair long or short, straightened or curly... that's my business. if only... i dare. i give him a bald! it's not lyke i go around him and critising his hairstyle too. craze....

kkays... i'm planning to get myself the samsung e700 but i still need to wait fer the price to drop. dad doesn't want to spend such money now. hmmm, my wishlist ish finally going to clear off all so soon. hee. and thanks my sistas and my perfect darling, they gave me a sunny birthday. love them lots... darling got me a swatch watch and yan+adel got me a 4 in 1 hair styling set.

i guess i'm gonna spend the following few days left to sleep as much as i can. don't call me a pig. i just don't wanna regret when school reopens. the kinda of sleepy moments in lecture. gosh, i hate it.

i guess i'm getting real fickle minded... i saw panasonic x70 today. looks great to me too.



which one shld i buy? any suggestions?

went out exercising with darling just now... we cycle and ran around our neighbourhood. played soccer, basketball and childhood games with my brother too... was having real fun stretching out our muscles. early this morning i'm lyke so stuck with the computer. all thanks to my brother. he kept perstering me to play this 'prince of qin' game fer him. i started out 11 and only stop at 7pm. gosh... my eyes hurts lots. can't imagine how guys can get so engrossed with games.

oh yeah... and regarding computer games. i saw this true file story on television today. most teenages murder due to long term effect from computer games. meaning they usually gets too hooked up and by then can't differeniate reailty... hence, they starting looking fer predators, murder them fer the sake of fun. this ish real scary and crazy man...

i'm gonna get myself Samsung e700a... birthday coming soon but ain't really excited about it. anybody wanna give some ang bao money fer my new phone? geesh... (=

gosh... i'm feeling real vexed now. all that anger in me, i just can't seem to control it! my head ish lyke spinning real fast. there's many things i hate about myself and i throughly can't give myself more confidence. perhaps i'm too isolated... argh, but i don't bother. there's so many bad thoughts flying inside my mind. don't come near me or i'll be one mean baddie. hope this craze of mine ends soon. just another day of stupid mood swing. sometimes i just hope that people around could understand me... less questions and more answers please!

Today ish darling's birthday... Me got him his favourite skin chrono Swatch watch. Finlly my wishlist ish clearing to more than half.

Sometimes i'm just too lazy to blog... Let time determine whether i shld blog about my trip to Thailand... Got many many stuffs. I'm a little tire out and don't have the strength to just keep typing anymore. Feeling totally in the blues, just hope everything will be fine soon.